THE DUDE WRANGLER
"I've thought over this consider'ble," Teeters lowered his voice, "and I figger that the secret of handlin' dudes is to keep 'em busy. I've been around 'em a whole lot, off an' on, over on the Yellastone, and I've noticed that the best way to get anythin' done is to tell 'em not to touch it and then go off and leave 'em. Of course an out-an'-out dude is a turrible nuisance, and dang'rous, but you got to charge enough to cover the damage he does tryin' to be wild and woolly."
He went on confidentially: "Between you and me, I've worked out a scale of prices for allowin' 'em to help me—so much for diggn' post holes and stretchin' wire, so much for shinglin' a roof or grubbin' sagebrush. Only the very wealthy can afford to drive a wagon and spread fertilizer, or clean out the corral and cowshed, and it'll take a bank account to pitch alfalfa in hayin'. If they thought I wanted 'em to help, or needed 'em, they'd laugh at me."
"Dudes is peculiar," the Major admitted. "I never had much truck with 'em, but I knowed a feller in the Jackson Hole County that made quite a stake out of dudin'. They took him to Warm Springs afterward—he'd weakened his mind answerin' questions—but he left his family well pervided for. Teeters," earnestly, "why don't you put your money in somethin' substantial—stock in the Ditch Company, or Prouty real estate?"
Teeters shook his head.
"Without aimin' to toot my horn none, I got a notion I can wrangle dudes to a fare-ye-well. I'll give it a try-out, anyway. By the way, Major, have you seen Lingle? How's the case comin'?"
The Major's face changed instantly and he said with quite obvious sarcasm:
"He's busier than a man killin' rattlesnakes, and he's
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