Page:ChroniclesofEarlyMelbournevol.1.pdf/131

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THE CHRONICLES OF EARLY MELBOURNE.
101

considerable time regarded as one of the shining lights. Finn had special facilities for acquiring a knowledge of the Major's shortcomings in the tip-taking line; and he and M r . Charles Brodie (ChiefConstable of the County Bourke Police), barring the Major himself, knew more of that high official's peccadilloes than any other two in the Province. A n y well authenticated tit-bits of St. Johnian scandal with which he became acquainted, Finn dotted d o w n in black and white, so that he had a log book of the Major's obliquities with days and dates, and all other etceteras. At the corner of Market and Little Flinders Streets, stood a small cosy tavern kept by a Mr. T h o m a s Ball Sibering, the host and hostess of which were so m u c h alike that, allowing for the difference of sex, they looked like fat twins, the male twin being larger in size, and the female inclining to the condition known as "squatty." T o m Sibering was civil and his wife was plausible. G o o d liquor was kept there, and " tick " to the newspaper m e n was encouraged as long as there was the remotest chance of payment. T h e newspaper fellows, the Chief-Constables, and some of the Sergeants of Police often met there for the consumption of the excellent bottled porter, and "two ales" always on tap : the Major and his doings were often on the lapis too. Such of the reporters as had undergone the ordeal of the Major's " bossing" used to be freely chaffed, and amongst those w h o most freely indulged in that kind of amusement, Finn was conspicuous. It was often predicted that it was only a question of time between him and the Major for his turn to come, and the wonder was h o w he managed to escape so long; but he took the presaging lightly, and was heard to declare repeatedly that the first encounter that took place between him and St. John would also be the last. A s for thefirsthe used to say laughingly that if it were to come, the sooner the better; but of this he was certain as he was of his existence, that there would never be a second. It is very possible that Chief-Constable Brodie, the Major's most trusted myrmidon, mentioned this vaunting to his chief, for though the event was long deferred, it came off in July, 1847. T h e business of the District Court used to be transacted on Tuesdays and Thursdays; and as it was a tedious drudging through petty wages, trespass and impounding cases, was not much affected by "gentlemen of the fourth estate." T h e proceedings, as a rule, were not reported at length, and often not noticed at all. O n a certain Thursday afternoon there was a lengthy cause list, and Major St. John and Dr. Wilmot, the Coroner, composed the Bench. T h e only reporter in the Press box, was M r . Finn, absorbed in the perusal of one of Lever's raciest novels. Major St. John was chairman of the Bench, and it was noticed from his gruff and imperious treatment of the suitors that something had gone wrong with him—that, in slang phraseology, he was " off his chump." H e started and looked round, sniffing the air, like a war-horse scenting the battle from afar—in fact, he was eagerly looking for something to turn up in the shape of a row. Even Brodie noticed this, for, coming over near Finn, and tapping him on the arm, he said, sotto voce, " Don't go away ; there is some mischief brewing, and there'll be fun to-day." "All right," replied Finn, and was off again to the companionship of the harum-scarum hero of the novel. In ten minutes, an introduction to that drollest offictitiouspersonages, the inimitable " Micky Free," helped probably by Sibering's X X . — f o r it was after lunch hour—caused a peal of laughter to rin"- like a small bell through the Court. T h e explosion burst from the solitary student of the Press box, and the m o m e n t he heard it, the Major turned his chairfiercelyround towards the corner from which the bell music came, narrowly escaping a tip over, and addressing the cause of the merry outburst, exclaimed, " W h a t do you mean, sir, by such mockery? D o you think you are in a bear-garden—thefitplace for you? Let m e have no more of that." R E P O R T E R : " I beg your pardon, Major St. John, I a m well aware I a m not in a bear-garden, for which you are so complimentary as to say I a mfit;though I assure you there are others in Court that would adorn a bear-garden more than I." T H E M A J O R : " C o m e , come, I won't allow you to address m e in this style.

This is my Court, and

I'll m a k e you behave yourself in it." R E P O R T E R : "Your Worship, l a m sorry if I have offended, but m y laughing was involuntary. It was the book I was reading that laughed, and not myself. Knowing m e so long, I think you might have been a little more ior-bcarm^ in the tone of voice in which you addressed me." T H E M A J O R : " H o ! ho ! and so you are going to lecture m e on the proprieties, eh ! By gad, that's g o o d — E h Wilmot ? N o w , look here, you fellow, if you ever dare to interrupt the proceedings of m y Court again as you have done to day, I'll m a k e very short work with you."