Court, in yvhich they yvere materially helped by the aggressive royvdies, yvho yvere rarely at a loss in finding hush money, or a bank-note sticking plaster, as a sanative for a battered phiz or cut head. T o avoid a future digression, it m a y be convenient to introduce here one of the most grotesquely comical outrages imaginable, attempted on a dark night during the winter of 1843. ^ w a s nothing less than a wild Quixotic ATTEMPT TO CAPSIZE THE THEATRE.
If a band of high or loyv-bred larrikins at the present day not only proposed, but attempted to impede a railway train freighted yvith a pleasure party, it yvould raise a thrill of horror through the community, and no punishment would be deemed sufficiently condign for such an outrage. Yet in intent, at all events, the meditated overturning of a performing theatre is no less heinons. In the attempt noyv recorded the project yvas not only preposterous, but impossible, and the yvhole thing eventuated in a most hair-brained fiasco At the time I a m writing of there yvas a remarkable tenement rearward of the noyv Australian Club House, in William Street, knoyvn as " T h e Crib," and hither invariably wended their yvay certain habitues of the Melbourne Club, when they attained to the stage of inebriety, pugnacity, or mischief-making, yvhich unfitted themforquarters yvhere even the line of licentiousness yvas never too tightly drayvn. O n the evening in question there was the unusual theatrical attraction of a black boy, or servant, brought from Sydney by M r . C. H . Ebden, and this darkey yvas A l at singing a nigger song, or dancing a Yankee breakdoyvn. It yvas thought he yvould drayv a full house, though he did not, in consequence of the yvetness of the weather. About 10 p.m. there sallied forth from " T h e Crib" some dozen young syvells, in the heyday of hot blood, and skin full of more pungent spiritual influences than are to be found patronizing table-rapping seances. They were out on the " ran-tan," determined to signalize the occasion in some remarkable manner. Night-yvatchmen and " bobbies " they had already bobbed about to their hearts' content; door knockers had been abstracted, church bells had chimed, window shutters were removed, and such commonplace exploits found no further favour in their sight. Alexander sighed for a neyv world to conquer, and these night birds hiccuped out a desire for some unprecedented freak to offer, in yvhich they might find some complete change of amusement. They held a council of war by the fence of St. James's Church Reserve, and in aflashof lucky inspiration one of them suggested that to upset the old Pavilion would be "capital fun." T h e proposition yvas received with a hilarious shout of approbation, and instantly nominating a leader they started off on their mad-cap expedition. Approaching the scene of action, they slackened pace, and at the n o w Beehive Corner, settled the plan of campaign. They then separated, and approached stealthily to the theatre, when they got without difficulty through the foundation piles, and yvere placed at their several points of duty by the leader, w h o was to chaunt the heaving s;gnal, in the manner of sailors working aboard ship. T h e "generalissimo" was either a stupid strategist, or, when the wine, or something stronger was in him, the wit yvas out, for instead of posting his m e n all on one side, he distributed them promiscuously betyveen the earth and the theatre flooring, so that when the tug of war came, it was a bootless trial of general strength, for each of the felloyvs practically counteracted what the others did, by virtually working on opposite sides. O f course, it yvas ridiculous to suppose that even yvere they a dozen full-haired Samsons, they could produce any effect; yet they succeeded in causing the superstructure to creak. They tugged, and shouldered, and hove away for some time, in obedience to the loud " yeo-ing " of their skipper, until some of the theatrical people, astonished by the loud intermittent uproar underneath, obtained the services of two or three constables, w h o secured the leader only. A s he yvas, in appearance at all events, a gentleman, and doubtless well-known to them, he yvas spared the indignity of the handcuffs. At the intersection of Collins Street, then known as Cashmore's corner, there yvas a large pool of stagnant water, not sufficiently deep to drown a man, but quite sufficient to half do it. Just as they approached within a short distance of the yvater, the prisoner suddenly and firmly gripped a custodian at the back of the neck with each hand, and shot them both into it and took to his heels. Nothing further yvas heard of the matter, and there was no report of the affair in the Police books of the following day. Probably it was " settled out of Court" by the "squaring " process then so m u c h in fashion.
