T o persons not versed in slang it m a y be necessary, to enable them to estimate the unpardonable offence committed, to explain that the phrase, "Scotch Fiddle," had a supposed reference to a vulgar insinuation originating at a period when England and Scotland were engaged in internecine feuds, that an unchanged oatmeal diet so cutaneously affected those w h o dwelt north of the Tweed as to require thefinger-frictionof the "Scotch Fiddle" to alleviate some of the symptoms. T h e appeal on behalf of the D u k e of Argyle is connected with the same tradition, as a m e m b e r of that noble house once had erected a number of iron posts in Glasgow to indicate the boundaries of his property, which uprights were m a d e a "double debt to pay," by the poorer classes of the townfolk using them as auxiliaries of the " Scotch Fiddle," i.e., scratching against them. T h e Scotchmen were so astounded at the audacity that for a minute or so they did not well know h o w to act. T h e point of the grossly offensive joke was impervious to m a n y of them, but it soon went the round of the circle, and there were loud shouts of " Kick Curtis out." T h e spectacle at length was so irresistibly ludicrous that a loud involuntary expression of laughter ensued, and half-a-dozen lubberly fellows were meditating a rush upon the offender, when the Chairman and a few others good-humouredly interposed, and the result was that Curtis was to be forgiven if he m a d e an unqualified and humble apology. H e consented to the terms of compromise, and as a tipsy orator I never knew but one (a certain modern M e m b e r of Parliament) to even approach him. H e was a capital extempore speaker, the drunker (provided he could only keep on his feet) the better, and he n o w burst forth in a really eloquent and even pathetic strain. H e lauded the land of the Thistle and everything belonging to it to the skies, declared that like Byron, he was a half-blooded Scotian himself, and there was no land under heaven whose sons, both at h o m e and abroad, had ever so distinguished themselves in art and science, law and literature, peace and war, by their genius, acquirements, erudition, diplomacy, and bravery ; and as pioneers of a new country like Port Phillip, their industry, honesty, and thrift sent them far ahead of all other colonists. T h e three greatest personages know to him in ancient or modern history, whose memory he carried round him in a halo of hero-worship, were R o b Roy, Robbie Burns, and John Barleycorn. A s for the last-named individual, he invented a beverage, beside which the so m u c h poetised Ambrosia of Olympus tasted but as ditch-water, and though the bequeather of such a legacy might be forgotten in the rush of years, so long as a shred of civilization remained, whisky would continue to be one of the chief solacers of the great family of mankind. A s to the fantasia he had executed on the "Scotch fiddle," it was meant as a good-natured joke, for he had no dearer or more esteemed friends on earth than the proprietors of some of the jolly faces he saw around him. If they wished for an apology where no affront was intended, they might have it a thousandfold, and his best wishes thrown in as a tilly. Cavenagh, the proprietor of the Herald, always detested Curtis, and would never have anything to do with him, so though he had been connected at some time, more or less, with every other journal, he never figured on the Herald until after the gold discoveries. Even then it was with m u c h reluctance Cavenagh would engage him, and only did so after the persistent representations of Finn, w h o was only too glad to put in a good word for an old friend, by this time given up by the other papers, and driven to his wits' end to make both ends meet, especially as he had taken it into his head to get married, and had more than himself to look out for. At last it approached the crisis and Cavenagh saith : " But Curtis is such a consummate scamp and confounded liar that I cannot consent to employ him on the Herald. Besides, see h o w the fellow in past times used to blackguard m e in the Courier, the Albion, and the Daily News. H o w can you expect a mortal m a n to forget all that?" Curtis was installed on the Herald, through Finn's intercession, and so remained for several years, until he grew so outrageously unmanageable that Mr. F. B. Franklyn, w h o succeeded Cavenagh, was compelled to discharge him. CURTIS AND THE MISSIONARY DOCTOR.
The first City Missionary in Melbourne was a nondescript looking old worthy, who flourished in the early years of the gold mania. H e had an inside breast pocket to his coat, in which
