A.—"Major, please keep your bounce for the Police Office, for I don't want, and shan't take any of it. T h e parcel is not sealed but only taped ; and even if I did open it, perhaps I should not learn more than I know. Here it is, safe and sound. Take it home, and if there be any lesson in it to be learned, be sure not to forget it." T h e Major clutched the parcel, and vowing if he had A. in the Police Office he would commit him for his insolence, rode away. T h e enclosure consisted of three golden miniatures of Queen Victoria, and half a sheet of notepaper, with the n a m e of an applicant for the licensing of a n e w house, the street, where situated, and its intended designation. T h e following day Mr. So-and-So obtained his license. Messrs. Wilmott and Smith could sometimes be "hooked" unconsciously to themselves, for there were no two more upright m e n in the Province. Neither of them would accept a bribe, in any manner or form ; but though sagacious, far-seeing, and utterly incorruptible, their temperaments were tinctured with a haziness that imparted a gentle dulness to their minds. W h e n on the Bench they might be compared to what is k n o w n in America as a " spike team," or in English stable slang as a " unicorn." St. John unwinkered and wide awake, being "fly" to everything, as leader. O f anything likefinessein influencing decisions they never dreamed, and thus they imperceptibly and innocently fell into traps laid for them. T h e modus operandi originated with the Mr. A. already mentioned, or perhaps it should be termed an invention of his. It was this : — S o m e two or three months before a Licensing day, the intending applicant was to open an account at the Melbourne Savings' Bank, of which Smith was the Secretary and Actuary, and continue paying in a small deposit on the days in each week open for receiving money. Smith could not bring himself to believe any regular Savings' Bank customer capable of evil; and if all the sins in the Decalogue were debited to one of that class, so long as he did not begin to withdraw, some absolving impulse in the Smith bosom moved towards him. Therefore, if a Savings' Bank depositor applied for a license (though Smith would maunder a few words about the unrighteousness of the calling), he could never think of interposing any opposition. In this way an individual, in himself pre-eminently good and religious, was involuntarily biassed so far as to acquiesce in St. John's freaks; for to directly oppose him he could rarely, even under any circumstances, muster sufficient moral courage. B y something of an analogous process, Wilmot, the Coroner, was prescribed for. H e secured a very limited private practice, and about the time when the Savings' Bank bait woulcl be laid for the one magistrate, the other would be called in to attend the wife, aunt, mother, mother-in-law, or child of the future applicant. S o m e of the most arrant instances of malingering were managed in this way. T h e patient underwent a short process of rehearsal; and when the Doctor was announced the invalid jumped into bed, and there was no difficulty in imposing upon the amiable, mild-mannered .Esculapius, w h o possessed a R o m a n nose and wore a pair of large spectacles, both of a pronounced type, and as a rule did not see far beyond either of them. W h e n the application came on for hearing, the Doctor was there as an emollient to facilitate its safe transit, without the most remote notion that he had been " physicked" for the purpose. It was also believed that a certain Chief-Constable was in league with St. John, and that they used to divide the winnings. It was said of this party that on certain days he used to leave a peculiarly-made shooting coat, sported on State occasions, on the table in the small room of an hotel, near the Police Court, into the pocket of which would be dropped, as into a poor-box, the " peace offerings " destined for him. H e would keep a sharp look-out on intending contributors, and the m o m e n t he saw a person emerge from the sanctuary, he would pop in to empty the pocket, so that no interloper could have a possible chance of fingering the booty. These suppositions were far from groundless, though I fancy the takings were solely appropriated by the coat-owner, for St. John did not care about going halves with anyone. H e worked individually and not in partnership, and if a favour were to be bought from him he should be treated with as a principal. M a n y w h o read this chapter will, doubtless, hold up their hands in deprecation of the official immorality here described. Statutably, at the period I write about, bribery was an indictable offence, but from the circumstances existing during St. John's career, a usage sprang up which gave a quasi common-law sanction to his misdoings. Everyone, so to speak, was cognizant of all this ; yet it was not prevented. A person wishing for a license was denied justice unless he sought it in a manner which was certainly not generally approved, though very generally resorted to. St. John's misdoings were known, not only amongst
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THE CHRONICLES OF EARLY MELBOURNE
551