Page:Darby - A narratives of the facts.djvu/46

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had been already, pretty well disgusted with diplomacy, and special pleading, but this was too much for me. I said to Harris and Soltau I did not know what to do, and ceased ministering. But I still went down to the room, and sat in the crowd at communion, and went to villages to preach. I was greatly exercised about leaving :―prayed much―and at last it occurred to me, that if the Friday meeting were set up again, these things might be enquired into there, and the body hindered from being responsible for it, or God might lead to some remedy, though humanly speaking it was a forlorn hope. But I said, I will not leave, till I have tried all. I spoke to Mr. Harris, and he said he had twice tried and it was no use. I then spoke to Mr. Soltau. He said there ought to be such a thing: it was absolutely necessary: but that he could take no step in it, as it would produce a rupture with Mr. N., as he would have nobody but the persons he approved of. I asked if everything was to be sacrificed to the caprice of an individual. In another interview, Mr. Soltau said, he had spoken to Mr. Batten, and referred to a particular brother, as objectionable: not the one, who had been chiefly obnoxious before. As to him, Mr. S. said he must be of the Friday meeting. I said I should object seriously to some that thought themselves unquestionably entitled : but though I had difficulties, as to some most looked up to, and which I could justify by Mr. Soltau’s own statements, I was content to waive them, and take them as they had been together.[1] Meeting him a third time, I found nothing was done, and I told him, I must then act on my own conscience. Again I thought of leaving, when it occurred to me, that still I ought not to charge the whole body with the matter, when it was only some party leaders, and their followers that had yet been dealt with.

I therefore begged the assembly to stop after the ser-

  1. At this time Mr. Soltau spoke most freely on all these points, taking a sort of independent place. I think it better not to repeat what he said to me as to people, but merely relate the facts.