But now another thought, a more terrifying, a more shattering thought crossed her brain and almost drove her mad. "Suppose that man's seed was in her womb."
Perhaps in two months—in three months at most—her waist would begin to increase in girth, her stomach to expand, her belly to swell out, in huge uncouth proportions.
That thought was an unbearable one, she felt like dashing her head against the wall.
Why was she punished in such a way, what had she done?
Had she committed a sacrilege in loving the saint with the love of the flesh, had she lusted after him in a lecherous, concupiscent way? If so, this was a deadly sin, like that against the Holy Ghost.
Was she perhaps atoning for the sins of her fathers and forefathers?
But was prayer of no avail, or had the Almighty turned a deaf ear to her?
Could it be possible that God was a cruel fiendish being, a very Moloch delighting to damn his children?
Death was her only remedy, her only
55
