i68
DIAMONDS TO SIT ON
' Comrade Bender,’ mumbled Hippolyte. ‘ Come along now,’ said Bender. ‘ What d’you want to irritate me for ? Bring it in. You can see that the one I’m sitting on isn’t worth much.’ He bent his head to one side and scrutinized Hippolyte. ‘ Come on, come on ! Where’s the chair ? Why haven’t you brought it ? ’ Hippolyte’s lame account was interrupted by Bender’s questions and ironical applause. ‘ What about my instructions ? ’ said Bender severely. ‘ How many times am I to tell you that it is a sin to steal anything ? Why, you even wanted to rob Madam Gritsatsuev, my wife, that time when we were in Stargorod. I saw then that you were no better than a petty thief. The most you would ever get would be six months without solitary confinement. That’s not much for a giant of thought or a father of Russian democracy. Now what’s happened ? You’ve simply let the chair slip out of your hands. And besides, you’ve spoilt an easy prey. You try and go there again ! Why, he’d simply tear you limb from limb. You’re jolly lucky to be here and not sitting behind a grid waiting for me to come and pull you out. But why should I ? After all, you’re nothing to me.’ Hippolyte, who had long since realized how insig nificant he was, stood in silence with head bowed in front of Bender. ‘ Well, all I’ve got to teU you is this—I see abso lutely no point in you and I going on working together. It’s absolutely absurd for me to go on working with such an unintelhgent person, simply for the sake of a paltry forty per cent. Whatever happens, I must propose fresh conditions.’ Hippolyte took a deep breath. ‘ Yes, my old friend, you are suffering from organic impotence and complete incapacity, and on account of this you should receive less. Are you agreeable to twenty per cent ? ’
