Of Old Japan
consolation than were to be found living fixed in my parents' house.
I felt awkward in Court in everything I did, and I thought it sad, but there was no use in complaining. I remembered with grief my nieces who had lost their mother and had been cared for by me alone, even sleeping at night one on either side of me.
Days were spent in musing with a vacant mind. I felt as if some one were [always], spying upon me, and I was embarrassed.[1] After ten days or so I got leave to go out. Father and mother were waiting for me with a comfortable fire in a brazier.
Seeing me getting out of my palanquin, my nieces said: "When you were with us people came to see us, but now no one's voice is heard, no one's shadow falls before the house. We are very low-spirited; what can you do for us who must pass days like this?" It was pitiful to see them cry when they said it. The next morning they sat before me, saying: "As you are here many persons are coming and going. It seems livelier."
Tears came to my eyes to think what virtue [literally, fragrance] I could have that my little nieces made so much of me.
It would be very difficult even for a saint to dream of his prenatal life. Yet, when I was before the altar of the Kiyomidzu Temple, in a faintly dreamy state
- ↑ The custom of the Court obliged the court ladles to lead a life of almost no privacy—sleeping at night together in the presence of the Queen, and sharing their apartments with each other.
