THE DIARY OF A NOBODY.
April 23.—Received a letter from Mrs. Lupkin, of Southend, telling us the train to come by on Saturday, and hoping we will keep our promise to stay with her. The letter concluded: "You must come and stay at our house; we shall charge you half what you will have to pay at the Royal, and the view is every bit as good." Looking at the address at the top of the note-paper, I found it was: "Lupkin's Family and Commercial Hotel."
I wrote a note, saying we were compelled to "decline her kind invitation." Carrie thought this very satirical, and to the point.
By-the-by, I will never choose another cloth pattern at night. I ordered a new suit of dittos for the garden at Edwards', and chose the pattern by gaslight, and they seemed to be a quiet pepper-and-salt mixture with white stripes down. They came home this morning, and, to my horror, I found it was quite a flash-looking suit. There was a lot of green with bright yellow-coloured stripes.
I tried on the coat, and was annoyed to find Carrie giggling. She said: "What mixture did you say you asked for?"
I said: "A quiet pepper and salt."
Carrie said: "Well, it looks more like mustard, if you want to know the truth."
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