S. P.—Wine and love, hic, are very ex-ex-hilarating! (Pours out more wine.)
S. F.—Takes tumbler from him.) No more, my dear
S. P.— (Swallows from bottle.) Fi-ine, hic, damn fin-e-e! (Exits drunk!)
S. F.—Great Father, I have made a mistake! (Looks after him and turns pale!) Powers of heaven, I have made a drunkard of my beloved! my betrothed! O, Oh! God, my soul is on fire! Am I really awake and has this happened or is it a phantom of hades? Powers of heaven, have I planted debauchery in the soul of my own darling, betrothed husband? (Raves!) Avaunt! thou demon of degradation! (Screams!) I see the gates of hell open before my senses! Am I also intoxicated? or is this the torture of a guilty conscience for having tempted, even by using Christian arguments, my beloved, good, pure, noble darling to take his first drink of this infernal stuff! What can I do to redeem him? What shall I do to be forgiven for this crime? O, Oh! heaven! The noble young soul (Weeps hysterically) has sacredly kept his dying mother's advice, until I proved the serpent to ravish him of his purity, virtue and manhood! God, O, God! (Kneels!) on my bended knees I plead for pardon and power to redeem him! And O Father in heaven, if I may be forgiven, I solemnly promise by the sacred memory of my beloved mother, that I will never more handle intoxicating liquors! And I will devote my life, money and strength to the Temperance Cause, and will deprive and deny myself of all luxuries, pleasures and gaieties on behalf of fallen and debauched humanity! This do I solemnly swear in the presence of Thy Spirit, and if Thou wilt grant my humble supplication, I shall devoutly prove to be Thy faithful servant until death! In humility, most penitently do I submit myself to Thy care, O Father of mercies! So be it! (Rises.)
[Enter Wm. Cuttle and Mad. Willard!]
Wm. Cuttle.—Miss Sallie, allow me to present, Madam Willard.
S. F.—Be seated, dear madam. Glad to see you, Mr. Cuttle! (Livens up!) You have just come at the right time, for I feel sad this morning!
Mad. Willard.—I really think you have cause by sipping at this bottle
Wm. Cuttle.—My dear, don't blame Miss Sallie for doing what has been a custom, in good society, from time immemorial
M. W.—Then it is necessary to change such customs! Miss Sallie is a member of the Young Woman's Christian Temperance Union, who are opposed to rum and tobacco, while our older Woman's Christian Temperance Union, is only opposed to drinking, manufacturing and selling intoxicating fluids{[bar|2}}
S. F.—Truly, we don't know who to please, in this perverse generation! But I am very sorry that I have offended you! (Weeps!) I am alone in this world, except dear father, and it is to please him that I have made this plain grape wine
W. C.—Never mind, we are not offended; we think too much of you to be hurt! Isn't that so my love? (To madam W.)
M. W.—Well, yes, but I am a deadly foe to wine in any form or at any place!
S. F.—(Indignant!) What about Christ turning water into wine? and you saints using it at your holy communion?
W. C.—Ah! My dear, she is paying you off with your own customs
M. W.—Silence, Mr. Cuttle!
[Enter Pert Force and S. Pool, drunk.]
Pert Force.—Hurrah! Hurrah! for Dick Shaw! (Sloppers over Sam Pool, they fall and rise, &c.)
S. P.—Hu-hur-rah-rah for, hic, Sal-Sal-lie's gra-gra-pe-pe wine, hur-rah-ra! (Fall on table.)
Tableau.
SCENE 2.—Street Scene, in 1, Dick Shaw's Gang, the rear brought up by Pert Force, S. Pool and Wm. Cuttle; drunken and noisy!
Pert Force.—Say, you Bums, hic, why are you making such a noise; can't you be decent? You are all drunk, hic!
S. P.—Damned if they aren't, hic. (Fight.)
W. C.—(Interferes.) Gentlemen, hear me!
S. P.—Ye-yes, hear him, for he is, hic, the drunkenest, bloomenest bum of this crowd of gen-gentlemen!
W. C.—Yes, hearm-me! I-I am an innocent philosopher and temprance advocate
Bums.—(Boisterous.) Ha! ha! he is a temprance
Leader of Gang.—Boys let's hang him.
P. F.—N-no, hic, let's hear the criminal be-before we hang-g him!
Bums.—Let him speak quick!
W. C.—Are you friends or fiends to humanity?
L. of G.—We are the followers of Dick Shaw! Three cheers and a lion for Dick Shaw!
Bums.—Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah for Dick Shaw! Humph! (Groan of contempt.)
W. C.—I am not a temperance man; that is, I don't belong to any society, but I have some idea of doing so soon
L. of G.—Because you are spoony on old Madam Willard, who is an old hypocrite! That woman will uphold any person or cause that has the money! Ha! Ha!
Bums.—Ha! ha! ha!
W. C.—You are a low set of beasts and my innocent philosophy reminds me of my duty.
L. of G.—And what is that duty?
S. P.—Say, you chums, let's go and get a drink!
P. F.—Y-yes, let's get several drinks, I have plenty of money!
Bums.—(Dance, then exit yelling.) Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah for Dick Shaw!
