his cousin, the Honourable George, whom he regarded as a dab at speaking; at least, so he had heard the Honourable George say of himself.
'What the deuce is a fellow to say, George, when he stands up after the clatter is done?'
'Oh, it's the easiest thing in life,' said the cousin. 'Only remember this: you musn't get astray; that is what they call presence of mind, you know. I'll tell you what I do, and I'm often called up, you know; at our agriculturals I always propose the farmers' daughters: well, what I do is this—I keep my eye stedfastly fixed on one of the bottles, and never move it.'
'On one of the bottles!' said Frank; 'wouldn't it be better if I made a mark of some old covey's head? I don't like looking at the table.'
'The old covey'd move, and then you'd be done; besides, there isn't the least use in the world in looking up. I've heard people say, who go to those sort of dinners every day of their lives, that whenever anything witty is said, the fellow who says it is sure to be looking at the mahogany.'
'Oh, you know I shan't say anything witty; I'll be quite the other way.'
'But there's no reason you shouldn't learn the manner. That's the way I succeeded. Fix your eye on one of the bottles, put your thumbs in your waistcoat-pockets; stick out your elbows, bend your knees a little, and then go ahead.'
'Oh, ah! go ahead; that's very well; but you can't go ahead if you haven't got any steam.'
'A very little does it. There can be nothing so easy as your speech. When one has to say something new every year about the farmers' daughters, why one has to use one's brains a bit. Let's see: how will you begin? Of course you'll say that you are not accustomed to this sort of thing; that the honour conferred upon you is too much for your feelings; that the bright array of beauty and talent around you quite overpowers your tongue, and all that sort of thing. Then declare you're a Gresham to the backbone.'
'Oh, they know that.'
'Well, tell them again. Then of course you must say something about us; or you'll have the countess as black as Old Nick.'
'About my aunt, George? What on earth can I say about her when she's there herself before me?'
'Before you! of course; that's just the reason. Oh, say any lie you can think of; you must say something about us. You know we've come down from London on purpose.'
