thought it hard that I should abandon her at this time, when she stood in particular need of my assistance and advice: she would refuse nothing to make my situation eligible. I had only to point out where she was deficient in her treatment of me, and she would endeavour to supply it. She was willing to augment my emoluments in any degree that I desired. She could not think of parting with me; but, at any rate, she must be informed of my motives.
"'It is a hard task,' answered I, 'that I have imposed upon myself. I foresaw its difficulties, and this foresight has hitherto prevented me from undertaking it,- but the necessity by which I am impelled will no longer be withstood. I am determined to go; but to say why is impossible. I hope I shall not bring upon myself the imputation of ingratitude; but this imputation, more intolerable than any other, must be borne, if it cannot be avoided but by this disclosure.'
"'Keep your motives to yourself,' said she: 'I have too good an opinion of you to suppose that you would practise concealment without good reason. I merely desire you to remain where you are. Since you will not tell me why you take up this new scheme, I can only say that it is impossible there should be any advantage in it. I will not hear of it, I tell you; therefore submit to my decree with a good grace.'
"Notwithstanding this prohibition, I persisted in declaring that my determination was fixed, and that the motives which governed me would allow of no alternative.
"'So, you will go, will you, whether I will or no? I have no power to detain you? You will regard nothing that I can say?'
"'Believe me, madam, no resolution ever was formed after a more vehement struggle. If my motives were known, you would not only cease to oppose, but would hasten my departure. Honour me so far with your good opinion as to believe that in saying this I say nothing but the truth, and render my duty less burdensome by cheerfully acquiescing in its dictates.'
"'I would,' replied my lady, 'I could find somebody that
