Several days passed, and no tidings could be procured of him. His absence was a topic of general speculation; but was a source of particular anxiety to no one but myself. My apprehensions were surely built upon sufficient grounds: from the moment that we parted no one had seen or heard of him. What mode of suicide he had selected, he had disabled us from discovering by the impenetrable secrecy in which he had involved it.
In the midst of my reflections upon this subject, the idea of the wilderness occurred. Could he have executed his design in the deepest of its recesses? These were unvisited by human footsteps, and his bones might lie for ages in this solitude without attracting observation. To seek them where they lay, to gather them together, and provide for them a grave, was a duty which appeared incumbent on me, aud of which the performance was connected with a thousand habitual sentiments and mixed pleasures.
Thou knowest my devotion to the spirit that breathes its inspiration in the gloom of forests, and on the verge of streams. I love to immerse myself in shades and dells, and hold converse with the solemnities and secrecies of Nature in the rude retreats of Norwalk. The disappearance of Clithero had furnished new incitements to ascend its cliffs and pervade its thickets, as I cherished the hope of meeting in my rambles with some traces of this man. But might be not still live? His words had imparted the belief that he intended to destroy himself. This catastrophe, however, was far from certain. Was it not in my power to avert it? Could I not restore a mind thus vigorous to tranquil and wholesome existence? Could I not subdue his perverse disdain and immeasurable abhorrence of himself? His upbraiding and his scorn were unmerited and misplaced: perhaps they argued frenzy, rather than prejudice; but frenzy, like prejudice, was curable: reason was no less an antidote to the illusions of insanity like his, than to the illusions of error.
I did not immediately recollect that to subsist in this desert was impossible: nuts were the only fruits it produced, and these were inadequate to sustain human life. If
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