"Which hymns do you find the most effective when you make your appeal for converts, Dr. Binch?" asked Elmer.
"Well, I'll tell you, Brother Gantry," said the authority. "I think 'Just as I Am' and 'Jesus, I Am Coming Home' hit real folksy hearts like nothing else."
"Oh, I'm afraid I don't agree with you," protested Sharon. "It seems to me—of course you have far more experience and talent than I, Dr. Binch—"
"Not at all, my dear sister," said Dr. Binch, with a leer which sickened Elmer with jealousy. "You are young, but all of us recognize your genius."
"Thank you very much. But I mean: They're not lively enough. I feel we ought to use hymns with a swing to 'em, hymns that make you dance right up to the mourners' bench."
Dr. Binch stopped gulping his fried pork chops and held up a flabby, white, holy hand. "Oh, Sister Falconer, I hate to have you use the word 'dance' regarding an evangelistic meeting! What is the dance? It is the gateway to hell! How many innocent girls have found in the dance-hall the allurement which leads to every nameless vice!"
Two minutes of information about dancing—given in the same words that Sharon herself often used—and Dr. Binch wound up with a hearty: "So I beg of you not to speak of 'dancing to the mourners' bench!'"
"I know, Dr. Binch, I know, but I mean in its sacred sense, as of David dancing before the Lord."
"But I feel there was a different meaning to that. If you only knew the original Hebrew—the word should not be translated 'danced' but 'was moved by the spirit.'"
"Really? I didn't know that. I'll use that."
They all looked learned.
"What methods, Dr. Binch," asked Elmer, "do you find the most successful in forcing people to come to the altar when they resist the Holy Ghost?"
"I always begin by asking those interested in being prayed for to hold up their hands."
"Oh, I believe in having them stand up if they want prayer. Once you get a fellow to his feet, it's so much easier to coax him out into the aisle and down to the front. If he just holds up his hand, he may pull it down before you can spot him. We've trained our ushers to jump right in the minute anybody
