always be meek and obedient to you and that he will make and keep your daughter happy. Gentle is his spirit: he would be as dust on which your daughter may tread." (I may interject here that the young men of Afghanistan are not particularly meek or gentle.)
When this speech is uttered, the ladies who have accompanied the young man's mother speak in his praise. Some praise the girl and her mother.
At this conference the girl's mother says very little. She sits listening with downcast eyes, betraying no emotion, and in the end very gracefully expresses thanks for all that has been said. She urges that there is no haste for marriage. Both lad and lass are still young and do not understand the Nashaib and Faraz of this world—that is, the ups and downs of life. She promises, however, to consult her husband, and then the party is invited to remain and partake of food and entertainment. This meeting is called Dukhtar Talabi, or "Daughter-Seeking."
For some months the negotiations may not be advanced further. Delay, however, is promising. If there is to be a refusal, it is made promptly but politely, a common excuse being that the girl is delicate and unable to undertake household duties, or, it may be, the mother pleads her inability to part with her daughter. Excuses are easily framed.
When some time has passed and no answer is received, a servant may be sent to the house of the girl's parents bearing a message in the nature of a reminder. A vague answer may be returned. Indeed, several vague answers may be given to several successive reminders. A monthly message is sent at first. Then comes a fortnightly one. Meanwhile, the girl's parents are making enquiries regarding the parents, and even when they are satisfied that the prospects are good, they hesitate so that the girl may be all the more highly valued, being difficult to get.
There is an Afghan saying in this connection, "That
