This page has been validated.
562
Epigrams.
Encouragement to Marry.
"Your wife is beautiful and young,
But then her clapper! How 'tis hung!
Had I a wife with such a tongue,
I'd pack her off to France, sir."
But then her clapper! How 'tis hung!
Had I a wife with such a tongue,
I'd pack her off to France, sir."
"Pshaw! You're too much afraid of strife;
Would you improve your present life,
Look out for such another wife,
I'm sure you'll find her answer."
Would you improve your present life,
Look out for such another wife,
I'm sure you'll find her answer."
A Breakfast of Learning.
As lately a sage on fine ham was repasting
(Though for breakfast too savoury, I ween),
He exclaimed to a friend who sat silent and fasting,
"What a breakfast of learning is mine!"
"A breakfast of learning!" with wonder he cried,
And laughed, for he thought him mistaken.
"Why, what is it else," the sage quickly replied,
"When I'm make large extracts from Bacon?"
(Though for breakfast too savoury, I ween),
He exclaimed to a friend who sat silent and fasting,
"What a breakfast of learning is mine!"
"A breakfast of learning!" with wonder he cried,
And laughed, for he thought him mistaken.
"Why, what is it else," the sage quickly replied,
"When I'm make large extracts from Bacon?"
Warnings.
Let him who hates dancing ne'er go to a ball,
Nor him to the ocean, whom dangers appal;
Nor him to a feast, who already has dined,
Nor him to a Court, who will speak out his mind.
Nor him to the ocean, whom dangers appal;
Nor him to a feast, who already has dined,
Nor him to a Court, who will speak out his mind.
The Lawyers.
Two lawyers, when a knotty case was o'er,
Shook hands, and were as good friends as before.
"Zounds!" says the losing client, "how came you
To be such good friends, who were such foes just now?"
"Thou fool," says one, "we lawyers, though so keen,
Like shears, ne'er cut ourselves, but—what's between."
Shook hands, and were as good friends as before.
"Zounds!" says the losing client, "how came you
To be such good friends, who were such foes just now?"
"Thou fool," says one, "we lawyers, though so keen,
Like shears, ne'er cut ourselves, but—what's between."
