when I think of the terrible contrast between my condition before and after these lapses. But from the errors of the past that I have now learnt to preserve this treasure in tact, and I fully hope, with god's grace, to continue to preserve it in the future; for I have in my own person, witnessed the inestimable benefits of Brahmacharya. I was married early in life, and had become the father of children as a mere youth. When, at length, I awoke to the reality of my situation, I found myself sunk in the lowest depths of degradation. I shall consider myself amply rewarded for writing these pages if at least a single reader is able to take warning from my failings and experiences, and to profit thereby. Many people have told me (and I also believe it) that I am full of energy and enthusiasm, and that my mind is by no means weak; Some even accuse me of rashness. There is disease in my body as well as in my mind; nevertheless, when compared with my friends, I may call myself perfectly healthy and strong. If even after twenty years of sensual enjoyment, I have been able to reach this state, how much better should I have been if only I had kept myself pure during those twenty years as well? It is my full conviction that, if only I had lived a life of Brahmacharya all through, my energy and enthusiasm would have been a thousandfold greater and I should have been
