Page:Harper's New Monthly Magazine - v109.djvu/1051

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EDITOR'S DRAWER.
977

you're dealin' with you oughtn't to be sent here. If you do know—quit foolin' and get down to business."

Mr. Coulson angrily plucked a bunch of tobacco from his pouch as he spoke, and Creighton moved toward the door.

"My business is over, Mr. Coulson," he announced. "I'm sorry I can't leave our offer open, but—"

"You can't leave here too quick, you dressed-up jackanapes!" the old man burst out. "You're too smart for this business, and I'll assist you to get out of it. If you come up here thinkin' you can dictate to us, you want to think again, unless it strains you too much. I'll telegraph your firm to-night that I'll import my own Kopec hereafter and be damned to them, unless you've got brains enough to pass the word yourself."

"I'm not a messenger!" retorted Creighton, with dignity, as he pulled on his gloves.

"You're an ass!" roared the old man. "No light-weight dude can bluff this firm, and if—"

The sentence ended in a mumble as he stuffed a fresh quid into his mouth.

"If he begins again before I leave," Creighton mentally determined, "I'll resign rather than sell the beast at all."

But the customer let him go with a few more threats, which Creighton blandly answered by saying he would call next day.

Coulson and Son's telegram to Ballister and Beck offering seventy-eight for ten car lots of Kopec was received by the junior partner, who merely answered that their representative was in the neighborhood and would call. Then came a telegram complaining of Creighton and threatening importations. Telegrams, however, were not the custom with Coulson and Son, and their haste indicated that their present needs were urgent. Mr. Beck, therefore, replied that the matter was in Creighton's hands and that he had full authority.


Two days later the new salesman returned with an order for twenty-five car lots at eighty-three. The sale was unprecedented, but the man did not seem to realize his achievement, and was unaccountably chary of details.

"I thought he was the right sort," observed Mr. Beck to his associate, "but I admit I didn't think he could tackle old man Coulson."

"They must have had a hot fight," Mr. Ballister reflected.

"Creighton says it was only a spat," answered the junior partner.




Honest

SAMMY PHIPPS had been promised a whipping by his mother in liquidation of his many misdeeds, and being a devout believer in the efficacy of prayer, dropped to his knees and began praying in a loud, childish treble to the Lord to spare him.

Mamma. "Sammy, what are you doing?"

Sammy. "I's prayin' to the Lord, but I hope you'll hear me!"



Exclusive

IN kindergarten Miss Alice said, "Can any of the children tell me what ship came across the ocean in 1620?" Blank looks from most of them. "The Mayflower, little children. Now can any one tell me who came over in the Mayflower? Perhaps Elinor can tell us."

Superciliously the child arose, smoothed down her apron, and said, "My ancestors, and a few other people."


Snobbish

Mr. Potato. "Well, well, what's the matter with Mr. Carrot?"
Mr. Onion. "Why, he proposed to Miss Radish last night, and she refused him because he was only one carrot. Said she'd have nothing but eighteen."