seated on the window-sill, with her back towards us, while the Count stood within the room; and whatever they were doing, they were certainly not removing the dust from the royal glass.
"I cannot see exactly the system on which they are working," said the King, who, owing to the severity of his studies, had become a little short-sighted, "but apparently he is cleaning the inside and the maid the outside of the pane; a very excellent arrangement, I should say."
His Majesty felt in his pocket for his spectacles, and for a moment I hoped that the unfortunate Count was saved.
"I have forgotten my spectacles," he exclaimed.
"Allow me to go and fetch them," I cried, but the next instant he drew the silver case from an inner pocket.
"I thought I could not possibly have mislaid them," said he. "I am particular in these matters—as an absolute sovereign ought to be. What!"
He paused in petrified astonishment, and then in a deep, deliberate voice said,
"Sir Hugo, there is no pane of glass between them."
"Is your Majesty certain?"
"Perfectly; the lower sash is raised as high as it will go. They cannot, then, be cleaning the window. What are they doing?"
"At this distance by my own eyesight—" I began, but his Majesty had now no longer any need to ask.
"His arm is round her—both arms!" he cried. "He is giving her—is that what is called a kiss, Sir Hugo?"
"Only a kiss, your Majesty," I assured him.
"Only!" he exclaimed, and with a gesture of horror turned from the window.
Hitherto, as I have previously stated, King Fido had remained entirely ignorant of the other sex; and even now, when he had mixed for a fortnight with the world, his innocence remained as complete and his principles as uncompromising as his austere father had intended they always should. Whether or not the spectacle of the amorous Count's embraces disturbed the serenity of this virtue, and thereby provoked his Majesty's resentment to an even higher pitch, I cannot pretend to say. Certainly his exasperation knew no bounds, and I even trembled for my friend's neck.
Summoning a strong escort of courtiers and life-guards, as well as the Vice-Chancellor and the royal executioner, his Majesty bade us all remove our shoes in order that Count Zonnbiem might be convicted by as many witnesses as possible, and placing himself at our head, he advanced, with his sword drawn, towards the state bedrooms.
"I warn you, gentlemen," he said to us in a whisper, as we paused outside in the corridor, "you will probably witness something very wicked and very revolting, but you may support your resolution by the thought that your sovereign shares these trials with you."
Pushing the door gently open, he did indeed reveal such a spectacle as a prudent man would not show to a too young and imaginative daughter; yet I fear his Majesty was a trifle disappointed that it did not produce more potent symptoms of horror among his retinue.
For the housemaid Gretchen was seated upon the Count Seraphin Zonnbiem's knee.
"Traitor!" cried his Majesty, in a formidable voice, while with a scream of alarm Gretchen threw herself down before him—this time upon her own knees.
"Wicked young man, have you no sense of sin?" demanded the King of the unfortunate Count.
Truly the Hereditary Cleaner showed sufficient embarrassment, though whether this was more owing to the stings of conscience or to the unannounced presence of so many spectators I shall leave to the judgment of such of my readers as have been placed in similar predicaments.
"You have been guilty of the most immoral and traitorous conduct I have ever witnessed," continued his Majesty. "What have you to say for yourself?"
"Only that your Majesty's experience must have been extremely limited," replied the Count, who apparently could not yet realize the full gravity of his position.
"It is sufficient," said the King, sternly, "to tell me that I am speaking to the basest and most abandoned of mankind."
"Pardon me, your Majesty," interrupted the Vice-Chancellor, with a great
