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The Lamp. "If there's anything that annoys me it's these people who won't let you smoke if you want to. I should think if it soots me it's none of their business."
Little Pitchers
THE Misses White were calling on a new neighbor, and while they were awaiting her appearance a small girl came into the room, evidently bent upon the rescue of a doll recently abandoned there.
Naturally she was viewed with some curiosity, and one of the callers, secure in the child's obviously tender age, spelled a low-voiced comment—"Not very p-r-e-t-t-y!"
To her horror the small maiden paused on the threshold, and fixing a contemptuous eye upon the culprit, remarked, with lofty composure, "No, not very p-r-e-t-t-y, but rather s-m-a-r-t!" E. L. G. C.
Naive
"MAMMA," little Marion asked, after a thoughtful silence, "can the Lord see us here?"
"Yes, dear."
"Can He see grandma out on the farm?"
"Of course."
"And can He see Uncle George in Manila?"
"Yes, dear. Why?"
"Well, mamma, the Lord must have a neck like a giraffe." K. H. S.
Smarty!
OH, Sarah Jane, you think you're smart
'Cause you learn pomes and things by heart,
An' multiply by mor'n two,
An' read a sentence right straight through,
An' stan' up there so big an' proud
A-speakin' pieces, awful loud!
That's showin' off! Don't you suppose
That you know half my aunty knows!
You never 'magined half the tales
She tells! an' 'en she never fails
To answer questions—all you please—
'Bout birds or animals or trees,
Er what's inside of you—er what
Is in the earth. She'll know it—but
She wouldn't think of makin' shows!
No one can tell how much she knows!
So when you're talkin' loud again
Jes you remember, Sarah Jane,
That though you're higher up 'an me,
You've got a heap to learn an' see!
I don't care if you are ahead!
'Cause aunty knows so much! She said
That real smart people don't make shows;
She don't! an' my! what aunty knows!
Growing Alike
DOROTHY, aged five: "Mamma, if I grow up and marry a man named Harry, will my name be Harriet?" E. L. G. C.
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Poor Arthur
When Willie smiled, I said, "My child, pray tell me, what's the joke?"
"Oh, it amuses me," said he, "to see the artichoke!"
