Page:Hill's manual of social and business forms.djvu/183

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Etiquette of Introductions.

THERE are various forms of introduction to be used, each depending on particular circumstances. Thus, when introducing a gentleman to a lady, the party introducing them will say, bowing to each as the name of each is pronounced, "Miss Williamson, allow me to introduce to you my friend Mr. Grant; Mr. Grant, Miss Williamson."

Some prefer the word "present" instead of the word "introduce."The words are not very material, The form is all that is essential.

Of two gentlemen being introduced, one of whom is more eminent in position, look first at the elder or superior, with a slight bow, saying, 'Mr. Durham, I make you acquainted with Mr. Stevens; Mr. Stevens, Mr. Durham."

The last clause repeating the names, "Mr. Stevens, Mr. Durham," may be justly regarded a useless formality, and is not necessary unless for the purpose of making the names more distinct by their repetition. Parties being introduced have an opportunity for conversation, and are immediately set at ease by the person introducing giving the place of residence and the business of each, with the introduction, thus: "Mr. Snow, allow me to make you acquainted with Mr. Burton. Mr. Burtonis extensively engaged in mining in Colorado. Mr. Snow is one of our lawyers in this city." He may still continue, if he wishes to aid the parties he is introducing, by saying, "Mr. Burton comes East for the purpose of disposing of mining stock to some of our capitalists, and it is possible, Mr. Snow, that with your large acquaintance you can give him some information that will aid him." Such an introduction will immediately lead to a general conversation between the parties, and the person having introduced them can then retire if he desires.

It is always gratifying to anyone to be highly esteemed, hence you will confer pleasure by always conveying as favorable an impression as possible when giving the introduction.

Always apply the titles when making introductions, where the parties are entitled to the'same, as Honorable, Reverend, Professor, etc. Thus, in introducing a clergyman to a member of the legislature, it is etiquette to say: "'Mr, Shelden, permit me to present to you the Reverend Mr. Wing." Addressing Mr. Shelden, he says: "Mr. Wing is the pastor of the First Presbyterian church at Troy, New York." Addressing Mr. Wing, hecontinues: "Mr. Shelden is at present our representative in the State Legislature, and author of the "Shelden Letters" which you have so much admired."

If there are many introductions to be made, the simple words, "Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones," will serve the purpose. Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones will then take up the weather or some other topic, and proceed with their conversation. A very proper reply for either party to make when introduced is, "I am glad to meet you," or, "I am happy to make your acquaintance."

If several persons are introduced to one, mention the name of the single individual but once, as follows: "Mr. Belden, allow me to introduce Mr. Maynard, Mr. Thompson, Miss Hayward, Mrs. Rice, Mr. Harmon, Mr. Brown," bowing to each as the name is mentioned.

When introducing a couple that may be somewhat diffident, the parties will be materially aided in becoming sociable and feeling at ease, by a very full introduction, thus: 'Miss Kennicott, allow me to present to you my friend Miss Swift. Miss Kennicott is from the far-famed city of New Haven, Connecticut; and, upon the close of her visit here, is going to California for a visit of a year. Miss Swift is from Buffalo, New York, and is attending Hopedale Seminary in this city."

General Suggestions About Introductions.

Ladies being introduced should never bow hastily, but with slow and measured dignity.

The inferior is to be introduced to the superior; the younger to the older; the gentleman to the lady.

It is the lady's privilege to recognize the gentleman after an introduction, and his duty to return the bow.

Introductions on the streets or in public places should be made so quietly as not to attract public attention.

Perfect ease and self-possession are the essentials to the making and receiving of graceful and happy introductions.

Etiquette requires that a gentleman always raise his hat (Fig. 2) when introduced to either a lady or gentleman on the street.

Introduce to each other only those who may find acquaintance agreeable. If any doubt exists on the subject, inquire beforehand.

When introducing parties, pronounce the names distinctly. If you fail to understand the name when introduced, feel at liberty to inquire.

One of the duties of the host and hostess of a private party is to make the guests acquainted with each other. Guests may, however, make introductions.

Fig. 2. Introduction on the Street.

Introductions are often dispensed with at a private ball, it being taken for granted that only those are invited who ought to be acquainted. Thus acquaintance may begin without formal introduction.

If upon any occasion you are introduced at a friend's house to even your bitterest enemy, courtesy requires that you salute him, or her, and give no sign of ill-feeling while you are the guest of your friend.

If casually introduced to a stranger, when making a call at the house of a friend, etiquette does not require a subsequent recognition. It is optional with the parties whether the acquaintance be continued or not after such accidental meeting and introduction.

Always pronounce the surname when giving the introduction. To be introduced to "my cousin Carrie" leaves the stranger at a loss how to address the lady. In introducing a relative, it is well to say, "My brother, Mr. Wells;" "My mother, Mrs. Briggs," .etc.

To shake hands when introduced, is optional; between gentlemen it is common, and oftentimes between an elderly and a young person. It is not common between an unmarried lady and a gentleman, a slight