Page:Hill's manual of social and business forms.djvu/185

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Husbands and wives indicate pleasant conjugal association existing where they address each other in the family circle by their Christian names, though the terms of respect, "Mr." and "Mrs.," may be applied to each among strangers. When speaking of each other among near and intimate relatives, they will also use the Christian name; but among general acquaintances and strangers, the surname.

Never call anyone by a nickname, or a disrespectful name. Treat all persons, no matter how lowly, inaddressing them, as you would wish to be addressed yourself. You involuntarily have more respect for people, outside of your family or relatives, who call you " Mr. Smith," or "Mr. Jones," than for those who call you "Jack," or "Jim." Hence, when you speak to others, remember that you gain their favor by polite words of address.

When speaking to a boy, under fifteen years of age, outside of the circle of relatives, among comparative strangers, call him by his Christian name, as "Charles," "William," etc. Above that age, if the boy has attained good physical and intellectual development, apply the "Mr." as "Mr. Brown," "Mr. King," etc. To do so will please him, will raise his self-respect, and will be tendering a courtesy which you highly valued when you were of the same age.

It is an insult to address a boy or girl, who is a stranger to you, as "Bub" or "Sis." Children are sometimes very sensitive on these points, resenting such method of being addressed, while they very highly appreciate being spoken to respectfully. Thus, if the child's name is unknown, to say "My Boy," or "My Little Lad," "My Girl," or "My Little Lady," will be to gain favor and set the child a good example in politeness. Children forever gratefully remember those who treat them respectfully. Among relatives, nicknames should not be allowed. Pet names among the children are admissible, until they outgrow them, when the full Christian name should be used.:

THE PRACTICE OF KISSING.

Upon the meeting of intimate friends among ladies, at the private house, the kiss as a mode of salutation is yet common; but even there it is not as customary as formerly. The custom ought to be abolished for physiological and other reasons.

Upon the meeting or departure of a young person, as between parents and children, or guardians and wards, the kiss is uot inappropriate in public. Between all other parties it is a questionable propriety in public places, it being etiquette to avoid conduct that will attract the attention of strangers.

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ETIQUETTE OF SHAKING HANDS.—SUGGESTIONS ABOUT SHOPPING.

WAYS OF CLASPING HANDS.

A CCOMPANYING the salutation of hand-shaking, it is common, according to the customs of English-speaking people, to inquire concerning the health, the news, etc.

{{center|Fig.3. The snob that sticks out two fingers when shaking hands.

Offer the whole hand. It is an insult, Th and indicates snobbery, to present two fingers (Fig. 3) when shaking hands. It ff is also insulting to return a warm, cordial greeting with a lifeless hand (Fig. 4), and evident indifference of manner, when hand-shaking. Present a cordial grasp (Fig. 5) and clasp the hand firmly, shaking it warmly for a period of two or three seconds, and then relinquish the grasp entirely. It is rude to grasp the hand very tightly or to shake it over-vigorously. To hold it a long time is often very embarrassing, and is a breach of etiquette. It is always the lady's privilege to extend the hand first. Tn her own house a lady should give her hand to every guest.

Fig .4. The cold-blooded, languid perosn, that exhibts only indifference as you shake the hand.

If both parties wear gloves, it is not necessary that each remove them in shaking hands; if one, however, has ungloved hands, it is courtesy for the other to remove the glove, unless in so doing it would cause an awkward pause; in which case apologize for not removing it, by saying, "Excuse my glove." The words and forms will always very much depend upon circumstances, of which individuals can themselves best judge. Kid and other thin gloves are not expected to be removed in hand-shaking; hence, apology is only necessary for the non-removal of the thick, heavy glove.

As a rule in all salutations, it is well not to exhibit too much haste. The cool, deliberate person is much the most likely to avoid mistakes. The nervous, quick-motioned, impulsive individual will needto make deliberation a matter of study; else, when acting on the spur of the moment, with possibly slight embarrassment, ludicrous errors are liable to be made. In shaking hands, offer the right hand, unless the same be engaged; in which case, apologize, by saying "Excuse my left hand." It is the right hand that carries the sword in time of war, and its extension is emblematic of friendliness in time of peace.

Fig. 5. The generous, frank, whole-souled individual, that meets you with a warm, hearty grasp.

CONDUCT IN THE STORE.

PURCHASERS should, as far as possible, patronize the merchants of their ow ntown. It is poor policy to send money abroad for articles which can be bought as cheaply at home.

Do not take hold of a piece of goods which another is examining. Wait until it is replaced upon the counter before you take it up.

Injuring goods when handling, pushing aside other persons, lounging upon the counter, whispering, loud talk and laughter, when in a store, are all evidences of ill-breeding.

Never attempt to "beat down" prices when shopping. If the price does not suit, go elsewhere. The just and upright merchant will have but one price for his goods, and he will strictly adhere to it.

It is an insult to a clerk or merchant to suggest to a customer, about to purchase, that he may buy cheaper or better goods elsewhere. It is also rude to give your opinion, unasked, about the goods that another is purchasing.

Never expect a clerk to leave another customer to wait on you; and when attending upon you, do not cause him to wait while you visit with another. When the purchases are made, let them be sent to your home, and thus avoid loading yourself with bundles.

Treat clerks, when shopping, respectfully, and give them no more trouble than is necessary. Ask for what is wanted, explicitly, and if you wish to make examination with a view to future purchase, say so. Be perfectly frank. There is no necessity for practicing deceit.

The rule should be to pay for goods when you buy them. If, however, you are trusted by the merchant, you should be very particular to pay your indebtedness when you agree to. By doing as you promise, you acquire habits of promptitude, and at the same time establish credit and make reputation among those with whom you deal.

It is rude in the extreme to find fault and to make sneering remarks about goods. To draw unfavorable comparisons between the goods and those found at other stores does no good, and shows want of deference and respect to those who are waiting upon you. Politely state that the goods are not what you want, and, while you may buy, you prefer to look further.

If a mistake has been made whereby you have been given more goods than you paid for, or have received more change than was your due, go immediately and have the error rectified. You cannot afford to sink your moral character by taking advantage of such mistakes. If you had made an error to your disadvantage, as a merchant, you would wish the customer to return and make it right. You should do as you would be done by. Permanent success depends upon your being strictly honest.