186
HUDIBRAS.
[PART II.
Why should not conscience have vacation
As well as other courts o' th' nation?
Have equal power to adjourn,
Appoint appearance and retorn?320
And make as nice distinctions serve
To split a case; as those that carve.
Invoking cuckolds' names, hit joints?[1]
Why should not tricks as slight, do points?
Is not th' High Court of Justice sworn325
To just that law that serves their turn?[2]
Make their own jealousies high treason,
And fix them whomsoe'er they please on?
Cannot the learned counsel there
Make laws in any shape appear?330
Mould 'em as witches do their clay,
When they make pictures to destroy?[3]
And vex them into any form
That fits their purpose to do harm?
Rack them until they do confess,[4]335
Impeach of treason whom they please,
- ↑ Our ancestors, when they found a difficulty in carving a goose, hare, or other dish, used to say in jest, that they should hit the joint if they could think of the name of a cuckold. Kyrle, the man of Ross, had always company to dine with him on market day, and a goose, if it could be procured, was one of the dishes, which he claimed the privilege of carving himself. When any guest, ignorant of the etiquette of the table, offered to save him that trouble, he would exclaim, "Hold your hand, man, if I am good for anything, it is for hitting cuckolds' joints." The British Apollo (vol. ii. No. 59, 1708) explains the origin of this saying, to be "the equal celebrity of one Thomas Webb, carver to the Lord Mayor, in the days of Charles I., both in his office, and as a cuckold."
- ↑ The High Court of Justice was first instituted for the trial of King Charles I., but its authority was afterwards extended in regard to some of his adherents, to the year 1658. As it had no statute or precedents, its determinations were based solely on what best served the turn. Walker says, "should they vote a turd to be a rose, or Oliver's nose a ruby, they expect we should swear it and fight for it: this legislative den of thieves create new courts of justice, neither founded upon law nor prescription."
- ↑ It was supposed that witches, by forming the image of any one in wax or clay, and sticking pins into it, or putting it to other torture, could cause the death of the person represented. Dr Dee records several such supposed enchantments.
- ↑ It was one of the charges against the Parliament, that they had allowed the adherents of the king to be put to the rack in Ireland. The
