286
HUDIBRAS.
[PART III.
And shown your Presbyterian witsJump punctual[1] with the Jesuits'; 500A most compendious way, and civil,At once to cheat the world, the devil,With heaven and hell, yourselves, and thoseOn whom you vainly think t' impose.Why then, quoth: he, may hell surprise— 505That trick, said she, will not pass twice:I've learn'd how far I'm to believeYour pinning oaths upon your sleeve;But there's a better way of clearingWhat you would prove, than downright swearing: 510For if you have perform'd the feat,The blows are visible as yet,Enough to serve for satisfactionOf nicest scruples in the action;And if you can produce those knobs, 515Altho' they're but the witch's drubs,I'll pass them all upon account,As if your nat'ral self had done 't;Provided that they pass th' opinionOf able juries of old women, 520Who, us'd to judge all matter of factsFor bellies,[2] may do so for backs. Madam, quoth he, your love's a million,To do is less than to be willing,As I am, were it in my power, 525T' obey what you command, and more;But for performing what you bid,I thank you as much as if I did.You know I ought to have a careTo keep my wounds from taking air; 530For wounds in those that are all heart,Are dangerous in any part. I find, quoth she, my goods and chattelsAre like to prove but mere drawn battles;
- ↑ "Jump punctual" means to agree exactly. "You will find" (says Petyt, in his Visions of the Reformation) "that though they have two faces that look different ways, yet they have both the same lineaments, the same principles, and the same practices."
- ↑ When a woman pretends to be pregnant, in order to gain a respite from her sentence, the fact must be ascertained by a jury of matrons.
