412
HUDIBRAS.
[PART III.
While lawyers have more sober sense, 455
Than t' argue at their own expense,[1]
But make their best advantages
Of others' quarrels, like the Swiss;[2]
And out of foreign controversies,
By aiding both sides, fill their purses; 460
But have no int'rest in the Cause
For which th' engage and wage the laws,
Nor further prospect than their pay,
Whether they lose or win the day.
And tho' th' abounded in all ages, 465
With sundry learned clerks and sages;
Tho' all their bus'ness be dispute,
With which they canvass ev'ry suit,
They 've no disputes about their art,
Nor in polemics controvert; 470
While all professions else are found
With nothing but disputes t' abound:
Divines of all sorts, and physicians,
Philosophers, mathematicians;
The Galenist, and Paracelsian, 475
Condemn the way each other deals in;[3]
Anatomists dissect and mangle,
To cut themselves out work to wrangle;
Astrologers dispute their dreams,
That in their sleeps they talk of schemes; 480
And heralds stickle, who got who,
So many hundred years ago.
But lawyers are too wise a nation
T' expose their trade to disputation,
Or make the busy rabble judges 485
Of all their secret piques and grudges;
Than t' argue at their own expense,[1]
But make their best advantages
Of others' quarrels, like the Swiss;[2]
And out of foreign controversies,
By aiding both sides, fill their purses; 460
But have no int'rest in the Cause
For which th' engage and wage the laws,
Nor further prospect than their pay,
Whether they lose or win the day.
And tho' th' abounded in all ages, 465
With sundry learned clerks and sages;
Tho' all their bus'ness be dispute,
With which they canvass ev'ry suit,
They 've no disputes about their art,
Nor in polemics controvert; 470
While all professions else are found
With nothing but disputes t' abound:
Divines of all sorts, and physicians,
Philosophers, mathematicians;
The Galenist, and Paracelsian, 475
Condemn the way each other deals in;[3]
Anatomists dissect and mangle,
To cut themselves out work to wrangle;
Astrologers dispute their dreams,
That in their sleeps they talk of schemes; 480
And heralds stickle, who got who,
So many hundred years ago.
But lawyers are too wise a nation
T' expose their trade to disputation,
Or make the busy rabble judges 485
Of all their secret piques and grudges;
- ↑ The wisdom of lawyers is such, that however they may seem to quarrel at the bar, they are good friends the moment they leave the court. Unlike us, Independents and Presbyterians, who, though our opinions are very similar, are always wrangling about the merest trifles.
- ↑ The Swiss mercenaries, as they are commonly called, if well paid, will enter into the service of any foreign power: but, according to the adage, "point d'argent, point de Suisse."
- ↑ The followers of Galen advocated the use of herbs and roots; the disciples of Paracelsus recommended mineral preparations, especially mercury.
