CANTO III.]
HUDIBRAS.
225
How many diff'rent specieses
Of maggots breed in rotten cheeses;
And which are next of kin to those
Engender'd in a chandler's nose; 320
Or those not seen, but understood,
That live in vinegar and wood.[1]
A paltry wretch he had, half starv'd,
That him in place of Zany serv'd,[2]
Hight Whachum, bred to dash and draw, 325
Not wine, but more unwholesome law;
To make 'twixt words and lines huge gaps,[3]
Wide as meridians in maps;
To squander paper and spare ink,
Or cheat men of their words, some think. 330
From this, by merited degrees,
He'd to more high advancement rise,
To be an under-conjurer,
Or journeyman astrologer:
His business was to pump and wheedle, 335
And men with their own keys unriddle;[4]
- ↑ All the objects spoken of in these lines are mentioned in Dr Hooke's work on the Microscope. The vibriones or eels in vinegar, were by their bites absurdly supposed by some to be the cause of its pungency.
- ↑ A Zany is a buffoon, or Merry Andrew, designed to assist the quack, as the ballad-singer used to help the cut-purse or pick-pocket. L'Estrange says that Whachum is intended for one Tom Jones, a foolish Welchman. Others think it was meant for Richard Green, who published a piece of ribaldry entitled "Hudibras in a snare," or of Sir George Wharton; and Butler's Biographer of 1710, thinks it was levelled at the author of the spurious "second part" of Hudibras.
- ↑ As lawyers used to do in their bills and answers in Chancery, for which they charged so much per sheet.
- ↑ Menckenius, in his book de Charlataneria Eruditorum, ed. Amst. 1747, p. 192, tells the following story. There was a quack who boasted that he could infallibly detect, by the appearance of the urine, not only the diseases of the subject, but all mishaps which might by any means have befallen him. To contrive this he bade his servants pump those who came to consult him, and communicate to him privately what they found out. One day a poor woman brought her husband's water to him; and he had scarcely looked at it when he exclaimed, "Your husband has had the misfortune to fall downstairs." She, full of wonder, said, "And did you find that out from his water?" "Aye, truly," said he, "and I am very much mistaken if he did not fall down fifteen stairs." When, however, she said that he had actually fallen down twenty; "Pray," said he, with assumed anger, "did you bring all the water?" "No" replied she, "the bottle would not
