169.
August 1, 1784, Ashbourn.
O God, most merciful Father who by many diseases hast admonished me of my approach to the end of life, and by this gracious addition to my days hast given me an opportunity of appearing once more in thy presence to commemorate the sacrifice by which thy son Jesus Christ has taken away the sins of the world, assist me in this commemoration by thy Holy Spirit that I may look back upon the sinfulness of my life past with pious sorrow, and efficacious Repentance,‡ I that my resolutions of amendment may be rightly formed and diligently exerted, that I may be freed from vain and useless scruples, and that I may serve thee with Faith, Hope, and Charity for the time which Thou shalt yet allow me, and finally be received to Everlasting Happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
To work as I can.
To attempt a book of prayers.
To do good as occasion offers itself.
To review former resolutions.
At ‡ may be mentioned μ. χ. ἀισχ-νο κεν-β. Μ[1].
170.
Aug. 12, -84.
Against inquisitive and perplexing thoughts[2].
O Lord, my Maker and Protector, who hast graciously sent
are not more afraid of death than men are.' Johnson. 'Because they are less wicked.' Dr. Adams. 'They are more pious.' Johnson. 'No, hang 'em, they are not more pious. A wicked fellow is the most pious when he takes to it. He'll beat you all at piety.' Life, iv. 289.</ref>
1 From the original in the possession of Mr. Robert McCheane, 90 Palace Gardens, London.
By the note which Johnson made at the word Repentance it is clear that he wished to recall certain faults when he was using the prayer; it is no less clear that in employing abbreviations in Greek he wished to secure secrecy, in case the prayer should fall into a stranger's hands.
My friend Mr. W. R. Morfill, Reader of the Slavonic Languages and Literature in the University of Oxford, ingeniously conjectures that the first three entries are μέλαινα χολή; αἰσχρὰ νοήματα; κενά βουλεύματα – melancholy; shameful thoughts; vain resolutions. His melancholy if he had indulged it, or if he had not taken the proper means to subdue it, he would have looked upon as sinful.
2 Quoted in the Life, iv. 370.
