A PHILOSOPHER WHO NEVER LIVED.
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tween them; whereupon both the urchins mocked him, saying, "Go to; who says that you are a learned man?"
The Mischievous Physician.
Duke Hu of Lu, and Ch'i Ying of Chao, being both sick, begged a celebrated physician named Pien Ch'üeh to cure them. The doctor did so; and when they were quite well again he said, "The malady you have been suffering from came from outside, and invaded your interiors, and that is why it proved amenable to drugs. But now you have both fallen sick again together, and your malady is growing with your bodies. What do you say?—would you like me to tackle it for you?" "We should first like to hear your diagnosis," replied the two gentlemen. Then the doctor said to the Duke, "Your will is strong, but you have a weak constitution; so, while you are equal to consulting, you are inadequate when it comes to arriving at a decision. Ch'i Ying, on the other hand, has a weak will, but a strong constitution; so that he is defective in deliberation, and therefore suffers from the decisions that he forms. If you two could only effect an exchange of minds, your powers would be equalised to perfection." Whereupon the doctor gave each of them a strong anaesthetic, which caused them to lie in a dead stupor for three days, during which time he cut open their bosoms, took out their hearts, and changed one for the other. Then he poured a wonderful elixir down their throats, and soon they woke up again as well as they had been before. So they took their leave of him and set out for their homes; but the Duke went to the house of Ch'i Ying, where Ch'i Ying's wife and children lived, and of course they did not know him. Meanwhile Ch'i Ying went to the Duke's, where precisely the same experience awaited him; and the next thing was, that Mrs. Ch'i Ying brought an action against Duke Hu, and the Duchess brought one against Ch'i Ying. The magistrate, after hearing the cross-actions, confessed his inability to arrange the difficulty, and decided that it should be referred to the doctor who had done the mischief. The doctor recounted the facts of the case, which was
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