LETTERS OF A JAVANESE PRINCESS
able to fly alone upon my own wings. Mama said, "But there is no one now, not among us, who does that!"
"Then it is time that some one should do it."
"But you know very well that every beginning is difficult. That the fate of every innovator is hard. That misunderstanding, disappoint ment on top of disappointment, ridicule, all await you; do you realize that?"
"I know it. But it is not today nor yesterday that these ideas have come to me ; they have lived in me for years."
"But what will come of it for yourself? Will it bring you contentment, make you happy?" "I know that the way I wish to go is difficult, full of thorns, thistles, pitfalls; it is stormy, rough, slippery and it is — free! And even though I shall not be happy after I have reached my goal, though I may give way before it is half reached, I shall die gladly, for the path will then have been broken, and I shall have helped to clear the way which leads to freedom and independence for the native woman. I shall feel a great content because the parents of other girls who wished to become independent would never be able to say 'There is no one, not among us, who does that.'"
Strange, but I am not uneasy or disturbed; I am calm and full of courage; only my stupid, foolish heart feels sick.
—90—
