Why did I never ask you to stay?
Ah! I did not know the wonderful secret which was hidden like a miser's treasure in my heart, the secret you had guessed, and which comforted you in those days of trial.
XLIIII only
knew that like a king I sat with my most precious treasure in my hand. The treasure was in my hand, and I was king. I could use it or give it away, just as my royal mood prompted me.
Proud and haughty I kept my treasure, held it up triumphantly before my eyes and said: 'Truly this treasure is rare, and woe to him who dare rob me of it. It belongs to me by the grace of God, and I need not make account for it to any one. I delight in this treasure, and it pleases me to enjoy it. But perhaps to-morrow it shall please me to throw it away, for I am king, and rich is my treasury.'
Thus, like a haughty king, I held Marie in the hollow of my hand. Confident in my right as her master, I amused myself with her, insolently I would set her free to delight all the more in winning her back again. I knew that when I said. Come, she came, and when I said, Go, she went. But I did not know that the day should dawn when in fear and distress I would forget all pride and cry. Stay with me, my rarest, my only treasure.
