nephew's gratification; for, from his kind inquiries if I wanted anything? if he could do nothing for me? it seemed as if he thought he could not do enough for us. My answer was nothing! nothing! and this I could say with truth, as at my age and situation (which is truly respectable) I should not know what to do with more without lavishing it on others, where it would only create habits of luxury and extravagance. The time of our dear nephew's being here was too short for much confidential conversation, else I wished to have made him better acquainted with mine and my brother Dietrich's sentiments concerning the noble bequest of our lamented brother, of which Dietrich had not the most distant hope or expectation (for I believe they never had any conversation on the subject), as I am sure his way of thinking is similar to mine, that brothers and sisters (such as we were), each beginning the world with nothing but health and abilities for getting our bread, ought to feel shame at taking from the other if he should by uncommon exertion and perseverance have raised himself to affluence. According to this notion I refused my dear brother's proposal (at the time he resolved to enter the married state) of making me independent, and desired him to ask the king for a small salary to enable me to continue his assistant. £50 were granted to me, with which I was resolved to live without the assistance of my brother; but when nine quarters were left unpaid I was obliged to apply to him, as he had charged me not to go to anyone else. In 1803, you and my brother insisted on my having £10 quarterly added to my income, which I certainly should not have accepted if I had not been in a panic for my friends at Hanover, which had just then been taken by the French.
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