— 46 —
have suddenly gone over to the enemy… Oh! I freely forgive you, for you have realised that it is useless to waste time on a woman who cannot appreciate. But what can I say? I feel only too sadly that I have divorced from nature. I am all the time dreaming, imagining, feeling excitement from the horrible alone. Nothing that is not extravagant, unnatural, can appeal to me now; I am ever seeking the unattainable. Oh, I assure you it is dreadful to feel as I do! To spoil one's inmost feelings, to be consumed with a desire that is not to be appeased. My diseased imagination is slowly killing me. I am frightfully unhappy.
As she spoke, her every gesture, every changing shade of her facial expression displayed only too well the truth of what she said. It was really pitiable to witness the manner in which this unhappy woman was suffering from her fatal passions.
"This is perhaps only a passing phase with you, dear Gamiani," said I, "you give your mind up too much to bad books."
