— 51 —
time to time she cried: "Go on, harder! Oh! still harder!"
The sight of this took me out of myself, I felt a superhuman courage, and I shouted that I was ready to bear anything.
My aunt immediately got up, and covered me with hot kisses, meanwhile the monk, tied my hands behind me, and blindfolded my eyes.
What shall I tell you? Only that the torture began to be more unbearable than before: and very soon, quite stupefied by the pain, I lay motionless, I could no longer feel anything.
Only I remember, that through the sound of the blows, I could hear confusedly, as if afar off, the sound of kisses, little cries, of hands smacking on naked limbs. There were also nervous, crazy, maddening little laughs, which I knew later to be the forerunners of amorous joys. Sometimes I recognized my aunt's voice, as she groaned with pleasure, sounding above this unreal harmony, this bloody festival.
It was only later on that I began to understand that this spectacle of my punishment had served to awaken their unholy desires, each one of my stifled groans had stimulated them to amorous extravagances.
