Page:My Life in Two Hemispheres, volume 2.djvu/234

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216
MY LIFE IN TWO HEMISPHERES

who had no decided convictions or prepossessions drifted with it.

To find candidates was the chief difficulty of the Government, and anybody who might possibly win was considered sufficient. One successful candidate was a railway porter, another an agricultural labourer; of a third it was told that when he took his seat an angry Minister whispered to the party Whip, "Take that cursed fellow away, wash his face, and put a clean shirt on him." "I hope," said a Conservative friend whom I encountered at this time, "you are beginning to recognise that democracy, like epicureans, prefers its dainties a little tainted." The success looked altogether decisive, but the leaders of the Opposition were persuaded it was merely local and did not extend to the more settled districts. The great agricultural West, occupied by prudent Scotchmen and industrious Irishmen, was considered safe on the side of solid and serious reforms, not flimsy and ephemeral ones. When I set out for my election I was surprised to find "Orion" Horne on board the coasting steamer bound for the Western counties which I represented. I did not suspect any political purpose, but as I was on the look-out for Government candidates I asked the captain at the dinner-table if he had any of these gentlemen on board. "That is what I cannot tell you, sir," replied the captain with a sly smile, "as I never look at the list of steerage passengers. But," he added, pointing to Horne, "here is a gentleman that can tell you, for he was accompanied on board by one of the Government Whips." "What," I said, "is it possible? In the name of 'Locksley Hall'—

"'Do I see the Great Orion slyly sloping to the west'?"[1]

Horne laughed, and admitted that he was certainly going

    After he had concluded his speech he was assailed with questions for which he was ill prepared. "What duty would you put upon soft goods? What on agricultural implements?" and so forth. At length he finished the interrogatories by a stroke on which nobody but Aspinall would have ventured in that serious community. "What would you put upon boots?" an anxious shoemaker demanded. "Well," replied Aspinall with a beaming smile, "from my personal experience, I would recommend Day and Martin."

  1. "Many a night from yonder ivied casement, ere I sank to rest,

     Did I see the great Orion slowly sloping to the west."

    Locksley Hall