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have but little comfort in his converſation alas! quoth he, why do not you make him a cuckold? She ſmiling ſaid, Sir, I cannot but you may.
A Welchman meeting with a bonny Scot began to brag of hur wonderful adventures and long travels. The Scot replied, what have you learned in far countries? the Welchman ſaid, hur has learned to ſtop three holes with one peg? the Scotchman replied, this is a pretty trick; how is it to be done? why quoth the Welchman, put his noſe in my arſe, and then there will be three holes ſtopt with one peg.
An old woman in a country village had been ſuch a wonderful cracker of nuts all her life-time, that at her death ſhe willed, that a bag of nuts might be put in her coffin to lay her head upon, which was accordingly done; and the old woman was often ſeen after her death ſitting in the church-porch cracking nuts. Now it happpened that a couple of butchers had made a bargain to ſteal ſheep out of a paſture ground adjoining to the church-yard: It was agreed upon between them, that one ſhould ſit in the church-porch and watch, while the other fetched ſheep on his back to him. It is to be noted that the ſexton was a lame man, and uſed to be carried on a man's back every winter morning to ring the five o'clock bell. Coming as uſual, the butcher waiting for his companion, thought he had been coming
