of other young men of character. I told him I understood otherwise on my engaging to the Company for that I would not have given five years of my time after studying a profession for the paltry sum of 100£. With that, he told me to think of his offers and give him an answer that he would not stand on a triffle, but it was impossible for him to give me expectations. I told him that I did not like the proposals and therefore was going down. You now see the whole. I suppose that you are of my mind that the first proposal was not equal to my hopes and what this triffle in the other is I do not know. It is certainly very hard for me to lose my time but it cannot be help'd. I am determined to go and settle at Detroit. It is certain that I will not lay up that sum but I will live in a Christian Country and live more happy than I do here. At the same time, I will have this consolation-I am my own master. It is true that I have but little to begin with but little will do. However, there is one thought that unmans my fortitude and that is the fear that my brother David should finish his education through want of means. It was and is still (if I should remain) my intention to help him as much as possible, indeed to be answerable for what necessary amount he should require. Now that you have my thoughts and actions in full view I hope that you will judge with candour, which you have had the goodness always to do, and depend that if I did not accept these offers it was not from whim but from a certain degree of independence that makes a man act with virtuous pride.
I remain, My Dear Sir,
Your affectionate nephew
John McLoughlin
N. B. My mind is distress'd, so beg you will excuse the incoherency of my stile. I will not write all this to my Uncle Alexander, but beg you would send him this. I am, Dear Sir,
Your affectionate nephew
John McLoughlin
Fort William, 13th July 1808
In course of conversation, I mention'd to Mr. McGillivray that I would never have serv'd them had I not understood that my five years apprenticeship gave me a certain right to look to
