Page:Peterson's Magazine 1842, Volume I.pdf/286

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WORLD OF FASHION.
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sion of my conduct which she would have ever exercised , her qualities would have rendered her invaluable. Cornelia, near three years younger, would have been my companion. With her I should have disported among the early flowers of spring, the fuller beauties of summer, and the mature glories of autumn.

But I turn from a picture fraught only with the idlest fancies ! Such felicities were never mine, I never enjoyed a sister's care-I never knew a sister's love since I was old enough to appreciate them. That kindly-that frank- that unceremonious intercourse, associated with sincere mutual regard , which I have witnessed between brother and sister-I have only looked upon to envy. But here I stand by the graves of my sisters-I remember well when they were consigned beneath this turf, and I hastily glance over the cheerless desert through which I have since passed-I am no misanthrope- I am not out of love with life, I see something lonely in it when considered in view of our future state-of our relations to the Deity, and to our species. If a tinge of melancholy affects my character it is but from sympathy with my circumstances. Yet these are causes of sorrow in this accursed world- baffled projects, disappointed hopes, bereavements, thoughts of which sicken the heart. Here was one destined to give a coloring to all my after life. Much, very much influence I feel it to have had on my character, on my happiness hitherto ; much yet it is to have. Yes, to a young man destitute of the meliorating enchantment of a sister's love, many of the purest founts of virtuous feeling remain sealed. Every man of sensibility must appreciate the society of the gentler sex- he will " seek the sympathy of the female heart." Woman is made " the ornament of his happier hours," his solace in adversity. Her placid loveliness smoothes and softens the asperities of his nature. But with whom can the young man associate as with his sister ? Who so watches over his character and conduct ? On whom can he depend as being so faithful to tell him his faults ? And whose admonitions can he so regard as prompted by pure affection and sincere good will ? There is an openness of heart, and a familiarity between brother and sister, which propriety forbids in the intercourse of others. There is a confidence not elsewhere to be found. There can be no suspicion of heartlessness, or art and duplicity in their intercourse ; and while the brother feels that the heart of her with whom he is conversing is free from hypocrisy, his own is made better, and is filled with the holiest delight, as he experiences the overflowings of female love, and witnesses the ingenuous developments of female virtues.

If there is a feeling on earth allied to that of beings above, it is the fervent, devoted love of a sister for her brother- so pure, so uncontaminated with any selfish or unworthy motive. If he is sick, who bends with faithful sympathy over his pillow ? If absent, who looks with


fond and anxious solicitude for his return ? If calumniated, who first appears in vindication of his character ? If vexed with the cares and the disquietudes of life, who pours into his agitated bosom the genial oil of consolation ? Who observes with such solicitous regard, and seeks to correct any impropriety in his conduct ? Next to a mother's unquenchable love that of a sister is pre-eminent. To me, at this time, such love would have been peculiarly desirable-for a father's care and a mother's love I could no more enjoy ! A little more than two years before I had seen my mother consigned to the grave, I could not wish her back. " Afflictions sore long time she'd bore."

I felt that, removed to a better land from a world in which for years she had experienced little but pain, she was now resting in the happy embrace of her Saviour. A few months before my father had gone to join her ; and the wound was still fresh and bleeding in my bosom . I was by his bed side when the lamp of life went out. "In saw in death his eyelids close Calmly as to a night's repose." From them I was now separated. No longer could I enjoy their sympathy and prayers—and must I too be destitute of a sister's ? Oh, when I hear my school-mates tell of going totheir homes, while there is no spot on earth which I can , with propriety, call by that hallowed name —when they exhibit the tokens of affection furnished by a sister's hand, an arrow pierces my heart, "the poison of which drinketh up my spirits." And when among strangers, encountering the rude buffets of the world, realizing " how hard it is to find true sympathy, how few love us for ourselves," I say when in such circumstances, I hear a sister express her deep solicitude for an absent brother, her concern lest sickness should befall him where he must be attended by stranger hands, and her own could not administer to his comfort- lest misfortunes should come upon, and her sympathy could not soothe his heart, and feel that there are no such regards such solicitudes for me, a withering influence chills my soul. Truly, I think, detached from all the sympathies of existence, that, like some abandoned bark, I am driven about on the tempestuous ocean of life. Before me were now the sad mementoes of my blighted joys ; and my spirit instinctively panted for that blessed region into which sorrow and disappointment do not enter, where I might rejoin those I had loved on earth. The sun was fast sinking behind the western hills, and as I had an engagement to spend the night with my early teacher, mentioned above, who lived in the immediate vicinity, I left the grave-yard where were the memorials of my blasted hopes -again " to mingle among the jostling crowd,"-to experience clearer evidence the depth of my misfortune in that early bereavement, the loss of my sisters.