must follow me in an analysis of our feelings toward the other sex-for I intend to argue this matter with you, and not go off in declamation, which, however pretty, is not the sort of thing to give a man of sense."
"Well-I listen.”
"What then are legitimate subjects of admiration in the other sex ? You will say personal qualities- beauty, accomplishments, &c.—so will say every boarding-school girl. I will take you on your own ground, and to make the argument plainer instance our own cases. For what, then, would a girl marry you ? A romantic Miss in her teens would say she loved you because you were the first one that struck her fancy-that she had often met very estimable men for whom she could not entertain like feelings and that, the fact was you were the handsomest man she ever saw, and she loved you- and there is the end of it. Now why does the girl answer thus ? Because she has not followed the instructions of the old Greek 'KNOW THYSELF,' and so, unacquainted with the habits of her own mind, could not detect the causes of its preference or dislike. Had this girl been trained in habits of analysis she could have instantly told you what she admired in her lover. You needn't shake your head-I know I am right ; for if we can dissect the operations of our minds in other matters, we can do it in the matter of love. For instance, I meet a lady at an evening party-she is pretty, witty, accomplished, in short the belle of the evening-I single her out for my attentions- those attentions are favorably received - and it ends with my going home particularly well pleased with myself and all around me, and so full of my new acquaintance that I make a fool of myself by dreaming of her. Now what do you call this feeling ?"
" Love, to be sure-or, at least, its incipient stages."
"Not a bit of it, or, if so, then love is not the exalted feeling you say it is ; for the feeling I experience, in the case I have instanced, is nothing but gratified vanitysheer vanity. I am flattered with having engrossed the time of the belle of the evening, and so I go home and dream of her forsooth, just as, when a child, I used to dream over a new top, or a Christmas box of sugar plums. And gratified vanity is, in nine cases out of ten, the true origin of what folks call love. If a man is distinguished for either beauty, talents, or manners, he can win almost any girl, for she hears him talked of, and it gratifies her to have her name linked with his as her lover. She borrows added lustre from his reputation, as the moon shines by the reflected light of the sun. Why else is it that a minister, or lawyer can always succeed best with the fair sex ? So you see that the secret of this romantic passion may be traced to the very weaknesses of our nature. And now talk of love, bah !" "Then, for heaven's sake, what is the sentiment we experience for the other sex ?"
"I'll show you presently. To return- I said that any man acquainted with the operations of the human mind can analyze the feeling-be it what it may-he experiences for another. Nor isthe feeling of love more difficult to be analyzed than the feeling of admiration we entertain for a fine picture, and it is only your simple folks who don't understand themselves, that deck love in such romantic colors, and all because they feel a sentiment they won't take the trouble to comprehend. But, in every case, if we enquire dispassionately, we shall be able to arrive at the true cause of our preference for another. I have instanced one case, that in which gratified vanity is the origin of such a preference. There are others. One man is admired for his face, another for his talents, a third for his manners, another for his figure, and-heaven help us ! -not a few for their whiskers. By dwelling on these real or fancied perfections, to the exclusion of his faults, the poor girl gets finally to believe him a second Adonis ; while another lady, by taking an early prejudice against him, and regarding only his faults, learns to look on him as a boor, a Caliban, or a fool. Instances of all this you have seen. Now, understand me, it is not every one who is aware of these things- in fact most of the other sex are blind to them, and so devoutly believe in love, for all the world like their great great grandmothers who believed in ghosts and witches. My conclusion, therefore, from all these facts and deductions is-but stay till I light my cigar."
"Well, now what is your conclusion ?"
" That there is no such thing as love ; but, on the contrary, the feeling we entertain for the other sex is a very common-place affair, altogether under our control, and capable of being crushed or allowed to increase just as we please."
Regulated as you would regulate the depth of water in a well, eh !”
You needn't sneer. If my liking of a young lady is to be attributed to her beauty, and I don't wish to marry her, I've but to think her ugly, or keep out of her sight, and my weakness is cured. If I wish to marry a certain girl, from a pecuniary or any other reason, I've but to pick out some real or imagined perfection in her, dwell on it day and night, and by the end of a monthit may be a fortnight—I'll have worked myself up into quite a respectable passion for her. There is no such thing, then, as the love you talk of: our feeling for a sweetheart or wife is akin to our liking for a friend, I will not say a picture or a horse. After marriage we acquire a habit of respecting each other-that is, in the few cases where there is no quarrel-and so live on till death do us separate,' after a fashion which the world calls a pattern of conjugal fidelity," and with these words, the speaker lolled back in his chair, and took a complacent whiff at his cigar.
"I have heard you to the end," said Burton, rising,
