Catullus.—Fools mix their wine, Consul Metellus, because they are fools.
Metellus.— And duped husbands?
Catullus.—Love is like wine.
Metellus.—Excellent comparison!
Catullus.—So that duped husbands drink only mixed wine.
Metellus.—There you are! I never thought of that—well, well—these poets—rascals! Well, as long as I drink unmixed wine. Long live poetry. Gaius Valerius. (Raising vessel.)
Catullus.—And friendship!
Metellus. And love! But unmixed, ha! ha! (He laughs.)
Catullus.—Yes, unmixed. (They drink.) And what are you citizens doing in the Senate, consul?
Metellus.—The Senate? I am the Senate.
Catullus.—What’s doing in politics? The provinces.
Metellus.—I am the provinces.
Catullus.—Pardon my short-sightedness, consul, I should have asked what are you doing?
Metellus.—I am opposing the agrarian laws. That fool Flavius thinks that the Senate does not know that Pompeius is back of his laws. We are more clever than he thinks.
Catullus.—Yes, it is either Pompeius or Cæsar, there is no room for a third man in Rome.
Metellus.—What’s that? It is either Metellus or Pompeius, you ought to say. (Drinks.)
Catullus.—Oh, yes, Metellus. (To himself.) It’s all fiddle-sticks to me.
Metellus.—Cæsar? Begone! Who’d think of that stripling after that scandal.
Catullus.—Scandal? I know nothing about it. I pray you, tell me. (He pours out more wine for him.)
Metellus (drinking).— You don’t tell me that it is news to you? Are you living in the Cycladæs Islands or in Rome? There certainly was a scandal and a great one, too.
Catullus.—No—tell me.
