Page:Principia Discordia (1970).djvu/63

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THE CLASSIFICATION OF SAINTS

1. SAINT SECOND CLASS

To be reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood. Example: St. Norton the First, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his grave near San Francisco is an official POEE Shrine.)

THE FOLLOWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO, NOT BEING ACTUAL, ARE MORE CAPABLE OF PERFECTION.

2. LANCE SAINT

Good Saint material and definitely inspiring.
Example: St. Yossarian (Catch 22, Heller)

3. LIEUTENANT SAINT

Excellent Goddess-saturated Saint.
Example: St. Quixote (Don Quixote, Cervantes)

4. BRIGADIER SAINT

Comparable to Lt/Saint but has an established following (fictional or factual).
Example: St. Bokonon (Cat's Cradle, Vonnegut)

5. FIVE STAR SAINT

The Five Apostles of Eris.

NOTE: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree with each other about Saints.


Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Herman Hesse. Only a hand full understood Albert Einstein. And nobody understood Emperor Norton.

—Slogan of NORTON CABAL – S.F.