January 6, 1915.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
1
NOTES ON NEWS.
By a Cynic.
The news that fills our daily filesFrom special correspondents—milesBehind the Front—perchance beguilesThe simple, but the sceptic riles.
The news from Rott- or Amst-erdamHas German powder in its jam.
The news from Petrograd, when fineAnd large, 'tis wiser to declineWithout the Grand Duke's countersign.
The Russian news that comes from Rome Is as romantic as a pome.
The news that comes from Austrian sourcesMunchhausen's shade alone endorses.
The news from Nish upon ViennaActs somewhat like the tea of senna.
News from Vienna wakes in NishThe exclamation "Tush!" or "Pish!"
On Turkish telegraphs, qua fiction,We may bestow our benediction;
They match (their humour is so tireless)The exploits of the German Wireless.
In fine, the cautious type eschews, As wholly prejudicialTo his enlightenment, all news Save the Allies' official.
"The National Gallery had an unwonted experience. Quite a number of people, among them a church dignitary in garters, were inspecting its masterpieces."—Evening News.
No mention is made of ourselves—a Press dignitary in sock-suspenders.
