of wire entanglements; it showed them where to look for seeds.
"I could see at a glance that Pilning was in a bad way. He spoke cheerfully enough, but there was a nasty look in his eyes. I tried to lead him off gradually to safer topics by interesting him in the less perilous delights of flower-growing. I asked after his gerania and spoke with admiration of his aspidistra and his jasponyx..."
"Rot!" said Henry. "That's a mineral."
"Sorry—my fault. It's such a jolly word, and I didn't think you'd know any better.... But it was all in vain; he would talk of nothing but grass and weeds. I tried to comfort his wife as I left, but my heart was very heavy. That night, Henry, the blow fell! They managed to lure Pilning in to dinner when it got dusk, but his mind was wandering a lot. Finally he broke down completely, and made a desperate assault with a tooth-pick on the baby's scalp. His wife fetches one of the neighbours to sit on his head while she went for the doctor; but it was too late. His reason had become utterly unhinged. There was nothing for it but to put him away in a home, and there he has remained for five long years.
"Only last week I went to ask how he was, and the doctor said there was no change, but that he was quite harmless. I was shown into a little room where he lived, and there I saw him on the floor talking and laughing to himself. But he took no notice of me when I spoke to him. They told me he was quite happy and would spend hours a day like that at his work."
"What sort of work?" asked Henry.
"The last time I saw poor Pilning," I replied sadly, "he was squatting on the carpet and trying to jab the pattern out with a fork."
It is reported that owing to the over-production of mittens and the consequent slump in this article, one London firm of manufacturers has no fewer than 1000,000 pairs on its hands.
Vicar. "Now, children, we are to love our enemies. That isn't easy, is it?"
Small Boy. "No, Sir."
Vicar. "Well, how are we to do it?" (Dead silence.)
Vicar. "Yes, we must love even the Germans. How are we to do that?"
Small Boy. "By giving 'em wot's good for 'em, Sir."
THE LANGUAGE OF WAR.
(Being a selection from answers to a General Knowledge paper.)
A kukri is a suit which our soldiers wear.
Kukri is pastry-making.
Kukri is a place where the Germans' food is boiled.
Uhlan is a short name for the Willesden Uhlan District Council.
A Censor is swung about to incense people.
Przemysl is an acid.
A levy is when a man dies his wife gets some money to bery him.
Levy is a man who gets money for the German army.
Howitzer is a smell that comes out of a shell when fired.
"One of the famous but least visited lakes of Sicily is Guarda, with its southern end in the plains of Italy, and its northern far into Austrian territory."
East Anglian Daily Times.
We should describe "Guarda" briefly as "some lake."
