THE RED RUGS OF TARSUS
good are they? I see where life stretches beyond the place money can signify.
All this time I have boosted myself up by saying, "Don't break down yet, wait for something worse." If you wait for real trouble – then you are so busy, you have no time to worry. My religion has in one night become vitally subjective. I know – because when I reason about it, I marvel at my own calm. Shall it be with me as it was with Elsie Hodge, the Bryn Mawr girl who was killed in the Boxer uprising? All day I have been thinking about her. I am writing this and shall leave it here – in case. I cannot write the words needed to describe the fate of women in my condition at the hands of these fiends. Maybe some day I can tell you.
***
Sitting on the floor in Mary Roger's room, writing with my paper on my knee. When I left our room, I went to Herbert's wardrobe and put his overcoat on. In one pocket I
[128]
