16. 𝖅ǎng-𝖟ze asked, "When one has put off his
mourning, may he take part in contributing to the
offerings (for the dead of another)?"
Confucius said, "To take part in the offerings (to another's dead), on putting off one's own sackcloth, is contrary to the rule. Possibly, he may perform the part of assisting him in receiving visitors."
17. 𝖅ǎng-𝖟ze asked, "According to the rules for marriages, the presents have been received and a fortunate day has been fixed;—if then the father or mother of the young lady die, what course should be adopted?"
Confucius said, "The son-in-law will send some one to condole; and if it be his father or mother that has died, the family of the lady will in the same way send some to present their condolences. If the father have died, (the messenger) will name the (other) father (as having sent him); if the mother, he will name the (other) mother. If both parents be dead (on both sides), he will name the oldest uncle and his wife. When the son-in-law has buried (his dead), his oldest uncle will offer a release from the engagement to the lady, saying, 'My son, being occupied with the mourning for his father or mother, and not having obtained the right to be reckoned among your brethren, has employed me to offer a release from the engagement.' (In this case) it is the rule for the lady to agree to the message and not presume to (insist on) the marriage (taking place immediately). When the son-in-law has concluded his mourning, the parents of the lady will send and request (the fulfilment of the engagement). The son-in-law will not (immediately come to) carry her (to his house), but afterwards she will be married to him; this is the
