Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches (3).pdf/15

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
John Falkirk's Witty Jokes.
15

give me a kiss? go hang yourself you drunken dog said she; so he must either go and hang himself directly, or pay all the reckoning.

An honest highlandman not long since, not much acquainted with the law, fell out with one of his neighbours, and to the law they went; he employed one advocate, and his opposite another, and as they were debating it in court before the judges, the highlandman being there present, a friend on his side, asked him how he thought it would go, or who would gain the day; indeed says the highlandman, his law-man speaks well, and my law-man speaks well, Ithink we'll both win, and the judges will lose, for they speak but a word now and then.

A young woman by the old accident having got herself with child, was called to the session for so doing, and after one elder another, examining her how she got it, and where she got it, and what tempted her to get it; and no doubt the deel wad get her for the getting it: last of all the minister he fell a enquiring how she got it, which run the poor lass out of all patience about the getting of it, says the priest, tell me plainly where it was gotten? I tell you, said she, that it was gotten in the byre, at a cow's stake, and what other place do you want to ken about? but said he, he did not tie you to the cow's stake: no said she, I did not