Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches (3).pdf/2

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This Catechism deserves no Creed,
It's only for Boys, who will not read
On wiser books, them to instruct:
Let droll John their fancy cook.


The Scots Piper's Queries, &c.

Q.WHAT is the wisest behaviour of ignorant persons?

A. To speak of nothing but what they know, and to give their opinion of nothing but what they understand.

Q. What time is a scolding wife at the best?

A. When she is fast asleep.

Q. What time is a scolding wife at the worst?

A. When she is that wicked as to tear the hair out of her own head, when she can' get at her neighbours, and through perfect spite bites her own tongue with her own teeth; my hearty wife is, that all such wicked vipers may ever do so.

Q. What is the effectual cure and infallible remedy for a scolding wife?

A. The only cure is to get out of the hearing of her, but the infallible remedy is to nail her tongue to a growing tree, in the beginning of a cold winter night, and so let it