Selections from the Writings of Kierkegaard 103
happy lover has bought his kiss too dearly, this proves to me only that he does not know, either how to take what is coming to him or how to do it. I never pay too much for this sort of thing — that is a matter for the girls to decide. What this signifies? To me it signifies the most beautiful, the most delicious, and well-nigh the most persuasive, argu- mentum ad hominem; but since every woman, at least once in her life, possesses this argumentative freshness I do not see any reason why I should not let myself be persuaded. Our young friend wishes to make this experience in his thought. Why not buy a cream puff and be content with looking at it? I mean to enjoy. No mere talk for me! Just as an old song has it about a kiss : es ist kaum zu sehn, es ist nur fiir Lippen, die genau sich verstehn*^ — i^nderstand each other so exactly that any reflection about the matter is but an impertinence and a folly. He who is twenty and does not grasp the existence of the categorical imperative "enjoy thyself" — he is a fool; and he who does not seize the opportunity is and remains a Christianfelder.^®
However, you all are unhappy lovers, and that is why you are not satisfied with woman as she is. The gods forbid! As she is she pleases me, just as she is. Even Constantin's category of "the joke" seems to contain a secret'desire. I, on the other hand, I am gallant. And why not? Gallantry costs nothing and gives one all and is the condition for all erotic pleasure. Gallantry is the Masonic language of the senses and of voluptuousness, between man and woman*. It is a natural language, as love's language in general is. It consists not of sounds but of desires disguised and of ever changing wishes. That an unhappy lover may be ungallant enough to wish to convert his deficit into a draught payable in immortality — that I understand well enough. That is to say, I for my part do not understand it ; for to me a woman has sufficient intrinsic value. I assure every woman of this, it is the truth ; and at the same time it is certain that I am
■•^It can hardly be seen, it is but for lips which understand each other exactly.
-oChristiansfeld, a town in South Jutland, was the seat of a colony of Herrhutian Pietists.
