Page:Sologub Sweet Scented Name.djvu/145

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THE KISS OF THE UNBORN

one. But he is growing up now; he is eight years old, and he must be beginning to understand. Why isn't he angry with me? Doesn't he want to be able to go and play with the other children; to ride on the frozen snow in his little sledge? Doesn't all this winter beauty attract him? I feel it all so delightful; even in spite of its illusions the world is so beautiful and so enchanting. Is it possible for him not to want to live here in reality?"

Then, as she went on and on, all alone, through the monotonous streets, she began to think of those to whom she had come: her hard-worked brother-in-law, her tired sister, the crowd of fretful children always asking for something or other, the poverty-stricken home, the lack of money. She remembered her favourite nephews and nieces—and little Serezha who had shot himself.

Who could have expected him to die? He had been so gay, so lively.

And then she remembered her talk with the boy last week. Serezha had been sad and upset then. He had been reading some incident recorded in the newspapers and had said:

"Things are bad at home, and if you take

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