Page:Stubbs's Calendar or The Fatal Boots.djvu/115

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A GENERAL POST DELIVERY.
99

me; didn't I show how averse i was to all quarrels by refusing altogether his challenge?—but such is the world: and thus the people at Stiffelkind’s used to tease me until they drove me almost mad.

At last he came home one day more merry and abusive than ever. "Gaptain," says he, "I have goot news for you—a goot place. Your lortship vill not be able to geep your garriage, but you vil be gomfortable and serve His Majesty.

"Serve His Majesty," says I: "dearest Mr. Stiffelkind, have you got me a place under Government?"

"Yes, and somting better still—not only a place, but a uniform—yes, Gabdain Stobbs, a red goat."

"A red coat! I hope you don’t think I would demean myself by entering the ranks of the army. I am a gentleman, Mr. Stiffelkind—I can never—no, I never."

"No, I know you will never—you are too great a goward, ha! ha!—though dis is a red goat, and a place where you must give some hard knocks too, ha! ha!—do you gomprehend?—and you shall be a general, instead of a gabdain—ha! ha!"